Will You Remember Me?

He blocked me and shut me out on my last day at work, 10 May. It was his immediate reaction to my text to him via Whatsapp after I saw his Facebook post and his replies to the comments there. I sent the text out of sadness and frustration. He hadn't seen me since December last year and had very rarely responded to my texts. He called once, but never answered my call. At the time I sent that last text, he hadn't talked or responded to me for weeks. I kinda expected such reactions from him. Maybe I was acting stupidly at that time. I probably have hurt him so deeply with my words. I was also hurting at that time.  There's nothing I could do. It is loud and clear now that he doesn't want me to contact him anymore.

His birthday gift was still in its original box, sitting in the trunk of my car. My friend told me to sell it, or just use it myself. I just couldn't do it. I bought it for him. I wanted to give it to him. While he was not talking/responding to me, I found myself not having the strength to even look at that box. I think it represented the fact that I have no way to reach him or get close to him anymore. Hence, it remained in the trunk of my car.

I thought about going to his condo and either put the box on his car (I am quite certain as to where it is parked) or leave it outside his unit's door (but I'm not sure if I can get the correct one). But my biggest obstacle was probably getting through the guard house. So my friend suggested that I should just courier it to his office, since I had sent a cake to him before and it reached him.

So that's what I did, that was my final act. On 16 May I got the box couriered to his office. I wrapped the box nicely (I didn't open the box) and attached a card inside. I said I wanted to give it to him on his birthday but didn't get the chance and that it's his, sincerely from me.

I wanted to write more.

I wanted to tell him that I love him and always will, that I miss him and think of him everyday, that I wish he could allow me to help him go through whatever it is that he is going through right now.

But then again, what is the point.

He hates me. In my mind, the fact that he blocked me and shut me out without any thought, without hesitation and without a word... you only do that when you despise someone. Maybe to him, I had done him a grave wrong and deserve this treatment. Maybe he was really hurt with what I said. When I think about his promises to me, his kisses and warm hugs, his gentleness and kindness towards me, I do not know who is this person who now appears to be hating me fiercely.

Anyway, two weeks has passed since I couriered the box to him. It's a gift from my heart. I thought it was a very cool and useful gift for a triathlete boyfriend. It's Hylete Icon 6-in-1 backpack. I chose this because I remembered when I followed him home one night, he carried two separate backpacks for his training stuff. I thought this backpack will be perfect for him.

I was and still afraid that he would refuse to accept it and would return it to me. I want him to use it. Because even at this point (I know my friends think I am stupid for thinking like this) I feel he deserves it. He worked really hard for his sports and to improve his performance. And I always remember (and this was always my favourite part when we were together) how passionate he was when he talked about his sports and his trainings and that endurance sports help him go through his depression.

I read somewhere that after a break up you will go through five stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I think I am still in denial. Everyday I wish he would come back to me. I can honestly say that I don't care for any apology or excuses from him, I will take him back with open arms and love him with everything I've got. I will apologise for all the hurt I havr caused. I never intended any of it. I want to spend my life with him, no matter how hard it is going to be. I want to share his happiness, his grievances and give him the support he needs. I want to be someone who will be there for him no matter what, and someone he could rely on. I just need his love. That's all I need. I sound pathetic, I know. But honestly, this is how I feel right now. My heart doesn't seem to want to feel anything else and my brain... well it currently just goes along with what my heart says.

Deep down I know that it has already ended and he was the one who ended it. He, who asked for my heart and got to keep it, is also the one who crushed it and never gave it back to me. He planted for me the seed of hope and then he just let it dry and die. We could have work it out, but if he chose to give up and shut me out, what am I to do?

I am so so sad I couldn't even cry. I so want to cry writing this, but I don't know why I can't. Is this sorrow?

There is not a single day passed by without me not thinking about him. No words, no gesture seems to cure this pain at this point. Everything I see reminds me of him. When I drive my car, I remember all the scenes we shared together in it. When I sit in a restaurant - how he always wanted to sit next to me so that he could be near me. When I saw an Exora, his face would play in my eyes. When I watch my animes and read my mangas, I remember how good he is in Japanese language. I still smile when I think of him, but with sadness in my heart.

That three months we were together was like a lifetime for me. In that three months I invested all my love to him. And I always thought it was mutual. I couldn't wait to introduce him to my family and friends, and I so wanted to meet his family too, especially his kids.

Maybe now he thinks I am not suitable and not good enough for him and his kids. I know I am not perfect and has so many shortcomings, but I was willing to learn. I don't know.

Right now I hope he is well and healthy. I hope he is still doing his trainings and participating in his sports. I hope he gets along with his family and friends, especially his kids. I hope one day he will find someone who will love him like I do and more. I want him to find his happiness.

I will not forget this love. I will always remember it. I want to remember him at his best. I want to remember that last kiss he gave me on my forehead. I have already forgotten how his voice sounds like, but that's okay. I don't want to go through anger, bargaining and depression. I wish I could go straight to acceptance. I only want to remember the good in him.

I wish him well.

I will always love you, my darling Fariq.

This is probably my last post in this blog.

Confused

It was my birthday on the 19th. There was no birthday wish from F. I booked a room at Capri for 2 nights and spent my birthday weekend alone there. Not a second went by without me thinking of F.

Two days later, he posted his birthday wish to me on my Facebook wall. Why on Facebook? I could still feel the painful stab in my heart.

And today is his birthday. Coincidently, his birthday present that I ordered from the US arrived today and I also got to leave office early due to my dental appointment. He did not reply to my birthday wish to him on Whatsapp, he also did not reply if we can celebrate his birthday together today. But he responded to all birthday messages he received on Facebook.

I guess I am truly stupid if I am still wondering if he has already dumped me. And how much dumber I can be for really thinking that I am still his girlfriend and that he still loves me.

You see, F has bipolar. He was diagnosed in October. He got into depression and has stopped responding to my texts and answering my calls since December. We did met once in December and that time he said he loved me. He hugged me and kissed me before he let me go home. Last week he replied once and said he's not ready to talk to me.

But his behaviour with other people got me so confused. Why is he not talking to me but he could talk to other people? Did I do anything wrong?

Q said I should stop doing what I'm doing and that I should block him already. But I don't want to. I still want to hold to this delusion. I truly love him. I do. I don't want to let go although I know he has already left my side.

It hurts so much.

Not a Happy New Year

Firstly, my boyfriend throw me away and shut me out completely.
Secondly, I couldn't take the toxics that comes along with my job anymore. So I tendered my resignation. I am currently serving my 3 months' notice.

The emotional impact of these 2 episodes is huge. I couldn't even describe what I feel right now. All I know is I want to be in the comfort and safety of my boyfriend's arms but he isn't here anymore. I don't know why he shuts me out. His bipolar? His unstable emotions? I already told him I am willing to go through hell with him and I accept him as he is, bipolar or not. But to treat me like I don't exist at all... that's very cruel of him.  All I do is loving him. Yes, I still love him with all my heart. And I miss him so terribly too. I know I'm being stupid... but who cares...

I resigned without securing any new job. It's scary... no, it's terrifying. So many what ifs... Especially when I am already over my 40s. I'm trying very hard to think positively. But after being demotivated and put down for quite some time, it's hard for me to find my grounds and lift myself up again.

Well... one step at a time...

New Beginning, New Love

I am 41 years old this year.

Last year when I hit 40, although I am thankful for my general well being, I was quite ready to accept that I could never find love in this lifetime.

I joined Tinder too last year. Met a couple of guys. They were nice to me, but one was only looking for a fling with no string attached and the other one was only looking for friendship. After a few months on Tinder with nothing, I logged out.

Early August this year, I logged in again. Widening my search criterion to include guys who are younger than me. I was not that hopeful when I logged in though. I've learnt my lesson from last year.

Then I saw this profile. A 37 year old divorcee with 2 kids. His first profile picture was of him running in a marathon. "Wow! Nice body!" I thought. His next pictures are one of him cycling in a competition and another one on his back on the beach facing the sea. He is into triathlon. Another picture of him with one of his children. He had a candid kind loving look on his face in this one. And there's also another picture of him standing looking at the camera, trying to pose like a hipster. "Hmmmm... interesting guy..." And so I swiped right. We matched.

We met up about 3 days later and had dinner at a mall near my office. I don't know why but I could feel a very strong connection with him. He made me laugh. He made me feel special. He was kind and sweet.

We are now officially dating.

I know this is probably super fast. It doesn't even make any sense to me. But I do love him. Like love him really hard. I've been in love before but what I felt before is not as intense as what I am feeling for him right now. I feel like all the heartache, loneliness, rejections I experienced before are so that I can save all of my love for him.

I really really hope from the very bottom of my heart that this is it. That he is mine to love for the rest of my life.

Friendzoned

I went out with him today. We went for breakfast. The most surprising thing was this time it was him who asked to meet up.

The prospect of getting a good breakfast, and wanting to know whether he would treat me differently, were very enticing. So I agreed.

The greetings was not like before, but he was his usual self. And I think I acted naturally; there was no awkward moment or bitter feelings. As usual he loves talking about himself, so I obliged.

I think I am getting through this quite well. I mean, I have told him how I feel and I know where I stand when it comes to him. So, if he wants to continue treating me like a friend only, that's his choice. I am not going to (and it's not like I can anyway) force him to return my feelings.

So yeah... This is where I am now. Friendzoned.

I will survive

I think for the past few weeks my spirit has gone lower and lower. It's tough to be strong.

In my personal life, i am still trying to come to terms that my feelings toward someone is unrequited. I am staying quiet and staying low. He wants to continue being friends. I tried, but it's hard and it hurts so much. And it's so painful that i am still hoping for something to happen, although deep down i know that i am waiting for the moon to fall on my lap. This is not a movie. 

At work, it is worst. My boss... Her temper is abusing us mentally and emotionally. I don't know how i survive at work everyday and still go home in one piece. I guess i just have to be strong for the sake of my colleagues. But my limit is almost to the max. I am so tired of pushing away the negativity and trying to stay positive. There is no kind words or motivation from our boss anymore. Just hurtful words and hateful glares.

Right now, i really want to cry. But i am too tired to do that too. I keep reminding myself that other people might have worst problems than me. And that i should be thankful and grateful. I do. I know that. But when it hurts, it hurts.

I hope tomorrow will be a better day for me and everyone else in this world.

What's Next?

I woke up this morning and the first thing that came on my mind was him. And he was the last thing i think of before i went to sleep. But i didn't dream of him.

I got ready for work as usual. And as i was waiting for the elevator, his messages came in. It was the usual good morning greetings he always gave me in the morning before i "confessed". I was so surprised. What was i supposed to do? Is this a test? He did it as if nothing ever happened. But he did say that he doesn't want to throw away our friendship just because of this. Should i also act like nothing ever happened?

In the end, i replied... as if nothing ever happened. I too don't want to throw the friendship away but at the same time, i don't want to start hoping and break my heart again later. But i figured, i already know how he feels about me. So, why don't i just go with the flow. If it's too much to bear i can just walk away.

So here i am now... Back into that so called friendship. I hope he could at least make some effort to get to know me better and opens up to me a little bit more so i could get to know him better. Then i would know for sure whether i like him because of him, or i just like the image of him. Right now, i am still confused. All i know is that i keep thinking about him all the time and hope i can spend more time with him instead of just texting.

I really want to take this current development positively. Be brave.

Aftermath...

I have trouble sleeping these days. I will wake up in the middle of the night and the first thing that will pop up on my mind is him. Same thing happens when i wake up in the morning.

You see, i haven't been heartbroken for such a long time. And i haven't harbour any feelings to any guy for such a long time too. It seems that my feelings for him are deeper than i thought. Otherwise, i will not be as miserable as this.

I miss him everyday. He hadn't replied my last message. I don't know. Maybe he hates me now. Although i already expected that he might not contact me anymore, it still hurts. Well at least i tried to tell him how i feel. It takes a lot of guts on my part. I've never confessed my feelings to any guy before. That was my first. And i have no regrets, although it didn't end well.

But who's to say what the future may hold? I might find someone new who will love me. With time, my heart will heal itself like it always does and this will become apart of my memory. I will never forget, of course. My feelings for him are sincere and honest. I may not call it love now, but i know given the chance it will become love. And since i am not given that chance, i will never know now.

There is no turning back for me. The only way for me now is forward. I let him go now, with very little hope that he will come back to me. And all the best to him, whereever he is and in whatever he does.

Goodbye, darling.

Hurt...

I did it.

I sent him a long message confessing my feelings. Well, it's more like confess and "break up". I told him that i know i'm not what he wants or needs and that i don't think he would even reply to me. I know i'm being a coward by telling him all that through a long message, instead of calling or telling it to him face to face. But, we never call each other anyway. And i don't want the embarassment of being rejected to my face.

I sent him that message at about 1.30 a.m. after thinking about it long and hard. I think he was already asleep when my message was sent. He is that kind of guy. Very disciplined about his time and what he wants to do, so his bed time is almost fixed.

I couldn't sleep after that. I tried. I drifted in and out of sleep. Trying not to think about it. Trying to brace myself for the heartbreak that i was about to suffer.

Later this morning when i woke up, i saw that he has read my message, but there was no reply. So, that was it. The cut is deeper than i thought. And i cried harder than i thought i would. The saddest part is that i also lose him as a friend.

I finally told my bestfriend about my situation, but not the whole thing. She offered to meet up later today but i declined. I just want to be alone. I am not ready to talk.

But i need to go out. If i stay in i might start crying again. I cannot wallow in self pity. Or wouldn't be able to get up.

I let him go. If he ever returns.... Oh how i wish.

Update: he replied later. He said he's not the guy i want to be with and he will break my heart someday. He also said he the kind of guy that no girl would understand. But he wants to stay friends with me.

Why does he has to say that? Can't he just say he doesn't want a relationship with me?

My heart is crushed.

Helpless...

I haven't updated this page for such a long time.

Is it because I have nothing to write about? Was I too busy with other things? I don't know. I guess, I just got lost and drifted away from this page.

For the past few weeks, I have this funny feeling in my chest. I didn't know if it's sadness or emptiness. But today I realised that what I actually feel is helplessness.

You see... This is about a guy.

I really like him. I hope I can be more than his friends. But the problem is, of course, my feelings for him is unrequited.

He has been in and out of my life for so many times. He had girlfriends and broken up. I was there... And still here... Just waiting and not doing anything. I am so afraid to face rejection. I know because he has friendzoned me a long time ago. I thought I have accepted it and I thought I have moved on. But now he is back and I realized that I still have feelings for him.

I have no confidence at all about confessing or even showing my feelings to him. He never showed that he cared, he always keeps a distance, I tried as much as I can to get to know him better but, yeah, he keeps his distance. I think after all these years, he may not even regard me as a good friend. God, I really want to cry right now.

And I never told anyone about this. I am just writing this because I really need to get this out of my chest. It hurts. You like someone but that someone doesn't have the same feeling as you.

I am already too old for this. Isn't this something that only high school girls feel? I'm 38 and struggling with emotions. What an embarassment...

Anyway, this part of my story has no ending. He is not meant for me and I just have to live with that. My reality is that I am 38, I have noone to love and noone who loves me back. 

Yes, I know at least I still have my friends and family. But theirs are not the kind of love that can fill that one empty space in my heart.

Really helpless.

And hopeless.

Catching Up...

Gosh... Haven't updated this space for such a long time! Ramadhan is already ending and Syawal will be here soon! I am still catching my breathe from all the stuff that has been happening in the past weeks!

At the company, we have staff leaving one after another. One girl has to move to Singapore to follow her husband, another wants to start a bakery with her sister in Bentong, another one is now helping her father. I think my boss is freaking out because she is leaving for a 3 weeks holiday in London next week and i would have to hold the fort with inexperienced new staff. Well, she can't cancel the trip and we can't stop staff from going. I will have to do my best.

In the meantime, earlier this month we went to Hong Kong to for a conference. I took 2 extra days to spend in Hong Kong. Lovely and lively city. I really enjoy the place and i would love to go there again. The surprising part of the trip was i bumped into Adam. Adam is a friend whom last i saw (before HK) was 3 years ago. I was about to have my operation to remove the tumor in my ovary and he was about to be transferred to Manila. What a small world!

Here are some pics from the trip in Hong Kong!

New Experience

I went to Carcosa Seri Negara for Skrine's 50th Anniversary celebration. My boss was supposed to go but she told to go on her behalf instead. So after work I drove straight to Carcosa Seri Negara and that was my first time there.

I didn't get to explore the place but there are two mansions there... One is called Seri Negara Mansion, which is on your left from the main entrance, and the other one is called Carcosa Mansion, which is on your right. The event was held at Seri Negara Mansion. 

I got there at around 6.45p.m. and a lot of people was already there. I met Skrine's partners and associates I've always worked with and I also met with an old classmate who is now a senior associate with Skrine. The last time I saw her was probably 8 years ago! It's so good to see that she is doing well.

I was glad there were people I know there, otherwise I would be like a lonely flower there. I am the type of person who is always shy to approach other people first but I am okay once the introduction is done. It was nice to finally see the people whom, before the event, I only liaised with through emails and phone calls. 

The performance was good (the Philharmonic Society of Selangor and some of Skrine's new staff performed for us) and the food was great (I love the char kuey tiow!!!). But my only complain is that the place was freaking hot and we have to stand during the entire event! There are tables and chairs but not enough to accommodate the guests. I left at about 9.00p.m. because my feet just couldn't take it anymore and I was sweating like mad!

But I do had fun!  

New Toy...

I bought the iPad4 today. Still tinkering with this thing, still trying to figure out how to use it. At best, I have managed to download the usual applications... Facebook, YouTube and of course, Blogger! I'm typing this on my new iPad now. 

This thing is actually quite amazing. I just have to figure out how best to utilize it. I'm gonna fill it with many fun stuff! Anyway, someone told me that I should have gotten the iPad mini instead of iPad4. Well, I like this big screen. If I wanted it small, I would have bought the mini version, would I? It's not that I don't know that there is a mini version, but I prefer this one so that's why I bought it. Is that so hard to understand? And by the way, it's my money!

Anyways, 2 weeks ago I watched Ironman 3 and Star Trek Into the Darkness. Both movies are awesome!!!  I think that day, Jan and I both got hot guys overload. It started with Tony Stark in Ironman3 followed by Khan, Spock and Captain Kirk (specifically in that order for me!) in Star Trek. For me right now, Benedict Cumberbatch is the sexiest villain ever!!! I love it when he was moody and angry!!! And to me, Star Trek Into the Darkness is the best Star Trek movie I've watched so far. To me all the elements are there... Great story line, great acting, great effects... There are funny moments, action, sadness and badass attitudes. I love it!!!

Last weekend I watched Cloud Atlas for the first time and I think it is also quite a good movie. After watching the movie, I don't really get what the fuss was all about regarding white actors playing Asian characters. In that movie, they have Asian actresses playing white characters too. Soooooooo.... Hmmmm... And I really loveeeeee the story between Commander Hae Joo Chang and Sonmi-450. My heart went doki doki when Sonmi laid her head on Hae Joo's chest to listen to his heartbeat whilst he was sleeping. So sweeettttt!!! And Jim Sturgess look kinda yummy as an Asian guy! *giggle*

By the way, I have finished the final book of the Infernal Devices trilogy, Clockwork Princess. *Spoiler Alert!!!* I confirm that I like it but I cannot say that I love it. In my own personal view, Clare is trying too hard to please all her readers. Fans from Team Will will rejoice and fans from Team Jem will be happy too. I personally would prefer it if Tessa gave her heart to one guy only. And having sex with Will so soon after she learnt about Jem's death... come onnnnnnn!!!! That is soooooo Beverly Hills 90210!!!! I almost hated Tessa because of that, but I didn't. Only because it was Will she slept with and I have always rooted for Will from the very beginning.  This reminds me of how I loathe Bella Swan since New Moon. lol. Anyway, after i finished Clockwork Princess, it felt like there were two endings for the story. But overall, I like the book.

I am currently reading The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. I know the book was published last year but I only got to know about the book when I dropped in at Kinokuniya last weekend. Heck! Before this I don't even know who John Green is! I've also found out that the book is currently in pre-production towards being made into a movie. They have casted the actor and actress for the main characters, Augustus Waters and Hazel Grace. If I have the time, I'll write my thoughts about this book after I finished reading it.

Ok... Time to sleep....

Itazura na Kiss ~ Love in Tokyo

I am currently watching Itazura na Kiss ~ Love in Tokyo, a remake of the 1996 Japanese drama which is based on a manga. The drama is so cute and funny and I like the fact that the girl who played Kotoko, Miki Honoka, is merely 16 years old in real life. The guy who played Naoki Irie, Furukawa Yuki, is actually 10 years older than Miki but he got me fooled with his youthful good looks. Although he is not as good looking as Kim Hyun Jung who played the same character in the Korean version, in my personal opinion Furukawa's acting is much better. The best part is he speaks English fluently with American accent, which makes his character of a genius with IQ of 200 very believable.

I thought I would hate Kotoko but Miki's potrayal of this character make it so lovable. I guess it is because Miki herself is still a high school student in real life.

The drama so far is fast paced but still funny and stays close to the manga. Of course you cannot cram everything from the manga into a 16 episode drama series. But you will enjoy the story nevertheless. I like it that they did Miki's hair like Kotoko in the manga.

I can't wait for the next episodes and am very happy that the English subs come out very fast. Nowadays, the English subs for Japanese drama is very slow. I think due to the popularity of Korean dramas nowadays.

I have watched up to the latest episode 6 where Kotoko joined the tennis club with Irie-kun. The guy who played Soba, the tennis club senpai, really looks like an old guy! It was hilarious when his sweet demeanour turned evil the moment he touched his tennis racket!!

Back to Life, Back to Reality...

I can't believe that my holiday in Seoul is over and tomorrow, I have to go back to work! Reality bites!!

I am soooo not looking forward to tomorrow. I'm sure my boss has reloaded her bullets to fire at me once I am back at the office. She would make sure there's something to blame me for when I was away. *sigh*

Well, life must go on and I have to do my best. I'm sure whatever happens at the office tomorrow, I can take it. I have been doing it for 8 years! God, how I wish I am still in my holiday right now!

I already miss Seoul! I miss the weather, the people, the food and the view. I will definitely go back!

Anyway, it is back to life and back to the present time. Seoul is now a memory... But one I will cherish for the rest of my life!

Seoul Finally!! ^o^ [7]

Today is our last day in Seoul.

We woke up late and was out of the guesthouse by 11.45 a.m. in search of lunch. Today was an easy breezy day... walking and shopping around Myeondong. We decided to have lunch at that place that sells fried rice and paejon. Jan's friend, Karen, joined us at the restaurant after we finished eating. She is Filipino but lives and works in Canada with her family. She's here with a group of friends for holiday like Jan and me.

After lunch we walked around Myeondong. I bought another cap from Hats-on shop, this time for my brother as souvenir. Then I bought some stuff from Tony Moly, a Korean brand beauty and skincare product. There are a lot of local brand beauty and skincare shops and all of them are endorsed/modelled by top Korean actors/idols. I think I saw like 5 Tony Moly shops in Myeondong shopping area alone!

After we parted ways with Karen, we walked some more and found a shop called Art Box that sells cute stuff like stationeries, bags, organisers, t-shirts, etc. I bought a small travelling bag, a toothbrush holder, a birthday card and a cute umbrella there. Art Box is that kind of shop where you cannot leave without buying anything.

Our next stop in Myeondong was the Cat Cafe. That place sells coffee, tea and other beverages and while you enjoy your drinks, you can pet and play with the cats in the cafe. The cats were so well behaved and very playful. I had a great time there!

Afterwards, we went back to the guesthouse and started packing. Jan bought a lot of stuff!! Yesterday she bought another 10kg for her airline luggage. Well, she has a big family so souvenirs alone took a lot of luggage space. Not to mention the bottled drinks and magazines she bought here. Hopefully there will be no excess baggage at the airport tomorrow.

We went out to Myeondong again after that in search of dinner. We went to Myeondong's Nipong Naepong (I hope I got the name right!!) that sells fusion Italian dishes. Tonight we had sweet potato pizza and Italian pong. The Italian pong is like carbonara but a bit spicy with more gravy. It was delicious!

We walked back to the guesthouse with a heavy heart, knowing that tonight is our last night in Seoul. I really hope I could come back here again and visit more places.

I will miss Seoul very much!!

Seoul Finally!! ^o^ [7]

We spent our 6th day in Seoul with a spring shower in the morning. Luckily, by the time we left the guesthouse, the downpour had reduced to drizzles. I chose to wear the new Nii sweater I bought at Lotte World yesterday. It is a vibrant yellow colour which was a contrast to the gloomy morning.

Our first stop was Naksan park which is at the top of a hill. I felt embarrassed to the ahjussis and ahjummas who confidently strode/jogged up the hill whilst Jan and I were huffing and puffing our slow ascend to the park. Thank God the rain stopped when we got there in Naksan and we got occassional peek of the sun when we were there.

Naksan park was simply breathtaking even though most of the flowers planted on the flowerbeds along the path were still not blooming. But almost all trees are blooming with flowers which made our journey up to the top of the park most worth it! The view from the top of the park was also very pretty.

From the top of Naksan park, we walked down towards Ihwa Village where we found murals on walls and stairs. It was very nice!

After Naksan and Ihwa Village, we kinda lost our way to the subway station. Hence, we asked direction from the policeman who was sitting in the police car. Instead of giving us direction, he gave us a ride in the police car towards the station! What an experience! I have never ridden in a police car before and my first experience was in Seoul! I think the policeman found it hard to give us directions in English; hence, the free ride in the police car ^^

We continued our journey to Insadong.... A place for art and culture lovers. We stopped at the mall there called Ssamziegil and I found this little shop that sells porcelain music box. The unique thing about this shop is you can choose the design of the music box and the song to play in the music box. I finally found the perfect gift for Oni (my sister), who is celebrating her birthday this 30th. I choose a design with cats because Oni loves cat and the music is La Vie en Rose. I hope she likes it. After shopping in Ssamziegil, we walked some more and found a big shop that sells Korean handcraft product. Here, I bought  handmade handbag for my mum and a fan for my sister. The ahjumma who sold the handbag to me kept saying that I am a good daughter since I told her that I was buying it for my mum! ^^ I also like the fan I bought for Adik (my youngest sister) with beautiful and yet simple design. I hope both Mama and Adik will like what I bought them!

And to my surprise, Jan bought me a pair of silver earrings from the shop too. It is a simple flower design which I can wear everyday. I really love it! I should buy something for Jan too, I guess! :)

So, that's our adventure today. Tomorrow is our last day! I wish we could stay here longer!!

Seoul Finally!! ^o^ [6]

We were in our 5th day in Seoul and it was a bright sunny day too! ^_^

We left the guesthouse at about 9a.m. and had our breakfast at Paris Baguette about 5 minutes away from the guesthouse. Then we took the subway to Jamsil to Lotte World, one of the famous theme parks in Seoul. We bought the tickets at the self-ticketing kiosk, which is quite easy to use. An all day pass is 34,000 won for an adult.

Lotte World has an indoor and an outdoor park. We went straight to the outdoor park. It is next to Seokcho Lake which boasts beautiful scenery. Cherry blossoms surrounded the lake... It was indeed a beautiful sight. A great place for lovers to stroll hand in hand.... *sigh*

Anyways, the theme park was fun. We went to the horror 3D show (which was actually not really scary) and I tried the high swing. I also rode on the Gyro Swing, which I think is the scariest game in there. I still couldn't believe that I got on that thing alone! But it was fun!

Afterwards, we went to COEX Mall in Gangnam because there is an Aquarium there that we wanted to visit. The Aquarium is quite alright. Almost the same experience I had when I visited Aquaria in KLCC. The ticket in is 19,500 won for an adult.

It was almost 6p.m. when we finished at the Aquarium. So we went straight to Ittaewon in search of halal food. Jan and I really missed our chicken meat. LOL! We went into an Indian restaurant and ordered chicken tandoori and chicken curry with nan, rice, samosa and palak panir. It was delicious!

That was our day today. Tomorrow will be another adventure!!

Seoul Finally!! ^o^ [5]

It was a wet rainy day in Seoul. It was our 4th day here and we had an early morning start because we were going to Nami Island. It was a good thing that we left early, otherwise we wouldn't be able to enjoy Nami Island to fullest because rain started at about 12p.m.

We left the guesthouse at about 8.30a.m. We took the subway and afterwards, the ITX, to Gapyeong station. From there, we took a cab to the dock for the ferry that would take us to Nami Island. For the ITX ticket from Cheongnyani to Gapyeong was 4,000 won per person and the cab from Gapyeong station to the dock was 2,400won. The ferry fare to Nami Island was 8,000won per person.

It was already cloudy when we arrived at Nami Island but we could still take good pictures. The island becomes famous because of the popular drama, Winter Sonata. I am a big fan of this romantic drama and at that time when it was super popular, I too was in love with Kang Jung Sang, the lead male character in this drama. So, visiting the island was like reminiscing the great romantic scenes between the lead characters... their first bicycle ride together, played in the snow together, their first kiss, their walks to remember the forgotten past... Sigh!

But Nami Island itself, in reality, is not as romantic as it was depicted in the drama. It could have been a romantic place for couples to date but with too much crowd and school children on field trip running around, the romantic moments become lost. To me, once is enough. I won't be visiting the island again.

We had our lunch on Nami Island at this restaurant that sale bentos. Well, if you are thinking about Japanese bentos with little egg rolls and cute unagi-cut sausages, you got it wrong, my friends. This was rice mixed with kimchi and egg, served inside a hot metal "bento box" and you have to shake the box really hard so that what's inside it will mix well. Because the metal bento box is really hot, you have to wear a protective glove to shake it. After so much effort and shaking, you open the box and find that what's inside is not really worth all the shaking. Then you start eating and realise that you should eat something else instead. You get what I mean?

We wanted to go to Petit France afterwards but because of the rain, we cancelled our plan. Instead, we headed to Dongdaemon and went to the ahjumma's place that sell grilled fish. The same restaurant we went to on the first day we arrived in Seoul. By the time we found the restaurant (we were kinda lost because we took the wrong exit from the subway station), it was almost 5.00p.m.

After eating, we took the subway again. This time to Namdaemun. It is like Petaling Street in Kuala Lumpur. We went there to buy souvenirs for friends and colleagues back in KL. I also bought 3 t-shirts for my dad.

We bought kebab for dinner and walked back to the guesthouse. Our plan to Ittaewon was cancelled because the rain was quite bad. We were already very tired.

So that was our adventure today. I really hope tomorrow will be a sunny day for us.

Seoul Finally !! ^o^ [4]

Day 3 in Seoul.

We were again blessed with a very good weather today. This time, it was really sunny with clear blue sky.

We started late today. We left our guesthouse at about 12p.m. We wanted to go to Apgujeong for lunch but we missed the stop and got off at Sinsadong instead. But we didn't regret it because we got to eat lunch at Blacksmith, a pizza place endorsed by Park Yuchun (Jan's Korean idol/actor sweetheart) and Song Seung Heon (my latest Korean actor sweetheart ;p). The place is a bit pricey because it is a proper restaurant but the food and service were great! We had a good lunch there.

Afterwards, we headed back to Apgujeong and went to this ice-cream place called Timeout Gellato owned by Park Yuchun's mother. According to Jan, the place is gonna closed soon because the whole Timeout Gellato franchise is closing down. That particular Timeout place is like a Park Yuchun's shrine where fans could come and worship him. The walls were full with Yuchun's big posters and the tv was showing his group's (JYJ) concerts. There's one cabinet next to the counter that was filled with Yuchun's merchandise. But the icecream was really good! So, it was not just about Yuchun.

After Yuchun, we went to Yeouido to visit the National Assembly Hall where cherry blossom trees were blossoming. It was such a divine experience! The trees were splendidly beautiful! When the wind blew, the petals went down softly like snow! Jan and I had a blast there!

Then we went back to Myeongdong to catch Nanta, a musical where 4 actors played music using kitchen utensils, including very sharp knives! They were so skillful and funny at the same time. No wonder it is one of the top 10 tourist attractions in Korea! I'm glad we watched it because the show was awesome, funny and very interactive.

We had a late dinner of seafood fried rice and paejon not far from Nanta theater. I can't remember what the place is called but they cooked the fried rice for you at your table. That's my first experience of something like that!

Another fun and interesting day in Seoul. Tomorrow, we will go to Nami island! Can't wait!!