Firstly, my boyfriend throw me away and shut me out completely.
Secondly, I couldn't take the toxics that comes along with my job anymore. So I tendered my resignation. I am currently serving my 3 months' notice.
The emotional impact of these 2 episodes is huge. I couldn't even describe what I feel right now. All I know is I want to be in the comfort and safety of my boyfriend's arms but he isn't here anymore. I don't know why he shuts me out. His bipolar? His unstable emotions? I already told him I am willing to go through hell with him and I accept him as he is, bipolar or not. But to treat me like I don't exist at all... that's very cruel of him. All I do is loving him. Yes, I still love him with all my heart. And I miss him so terribly too. I know I'm being stupid... but who cares...
I resigned without securing any new job. It's scary... no, it's terrifying. So many what ifs... Especially when I am already over my 40s. I'm trying very hard to think positively. But after being demotivated and put down for quite some time, it's hard for me to find my grounds and lift myself up again.
Well... one step at a time...
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