New Beginning, New Love

I am 41 years old this year.

Last year when I hit 40, although I am thankful for my general well being, I was quite ready to accept that I could never find love in this lifetime.

I joined Tinder too last year. Met a couple of guys. They were nice to me, but one was only looking for a fling with no string attached and the other one was only looking for friendship. After a few months on Tinder with nothing, I logged out.

Early August this year, I logged in again. Widening my search criterion to include guys who are younger than me. I was not that hopeful when I logged in though. I've learnt my lesson from last year.

Then I saw this profile. A 37 year old divorcee with 2 kids. His first profile picture was of him running in a marathon. "Wow! Nice body!" I thought. His next pictures are one of him cycling in a competition and another one on his back on the beach facing the sea. He is into triathlon. Another picture of him with one of his children. He had a candid kind loving look on his face in this one. And there's also another picture of him standing looking at the camera, trying to pose like a hipster. "Hmmmm... interesting guy..." And so I swiped right. We matched.

We met up about 3 days later and had dinner at a mall near my office. I don't know why but I could feel a very strong connection with him. He made me laugh. He made me feel special. He was kind and sweet.

We are now officially dating.

I know this is probably super fast. It doesn't even make any sense to me. But I do love him. Like love him really hard. I've been in love before but what I felt before is not as intense as what I am feeling for him right now. I feel like all the heartache, loneliness, rejections I experienced before are so that I can save all of my love for him.

I really really hope from the very bottom of my heart that this is it. That he is mine to love for the rest of my life.