He was a new student. I thought his nose holes were quite large, but I also thought that he was extremely good looking. We were not in the same class, so I was kinda looking at him from afar.
Our school had a big tarred yard. That was where the morning assembly was held. We would stand in rows according to our classes and we would face the building that housed our canteen. On the wall facing us, there were 2 really big mirrors. As the class monitor, I had to stand at the head of the row of my class and I could see one of the mirrors very clearly. And who happened to be reflected on that mirror? It was Boy.
At that time, I didn't know that from his point of view, I was the one reflected by that mirror. So he could see me looking at him through that mirror. I was embarrassed when I found out later.
I did not confess to him. Surprisingly, he confessed to me first. It was all because of that mirror. We ate together in the school canteen, we walked to the bus stop together to go home and sometimes, he popped in into the library to check on me when I was on duty. He had no interest whatsoever in books like I do, so the library was like a taboo to him.
I was actually very surprised that he liked me and would make me his girlfriend. I never thought myself as pretty. Besides, I was from the first class in my form, so I thought a guy like him would see me as bookish or boring or a nerd. He was really popular, especially because of his good looks.
As for me, I liked spending time with him. He was funny and also very considerate. He did not push me around but at the same time he can be quite protective.
But I had to leave Boy and the rest of my friends in that school behind a year later. Because of my outstanding exam results, I was accepted into a special school in another state. I met new people, made new friends and apparently, developed new crushes along the way.
So that was my first puppy love. There was love but it was a childish love. There was no real complications, no real physical attractions, just two kids who cared for each other.
To be honest, I have already forgotten how that feels. As I grew older, I found that love becomes more complex and complicated. There was a lot of feelings. Anger, jealousy, too much physical attractions, needy, clingy, misunderstandings and a lot more. Of course there were also lots of happy feelings and moments but I always wonder where those energy feelings come from. Love in the adult world can be very frightening.
Lately, I want to be in love again. When I remembered about my puppy love, I thought it will be very pleasant to fall in love again. But when I remembered how crushed I was when I lost my first love, I become afraid again. Could it be that I am still single because I am afraid of love? I always wondered about that.
In any event, I have just celebrated my birthday 2 weeks ago. I am a year older now. Can I still find love at my age? I wonder...
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