Days Off...

I am on leave today and tomorrow. Yesterday, I was prepared to tell my boss that I don't mind my salary be deducted for the two days as long as I can go back to Seremban and be with my family. Well, I get the days off without my salary being deducted but I have to take back files and do office work from home. I also have to check the staff's draft reports which they will send to my personal email. *sigh*

My mum is still hospitalised. According to my brother in law yesterday when he saw my mum, the swelling has gotten smaller a bit. Well, I will see for myself what it looks like when I go to the hospital later today.

Anyway, I hope nothing urgent comes up at the office whilst I am away so that I can have a peace of mind while taking care of home. I don't want anyone from the office, especially my boss, calling me at home. I am not taking the days off to relax. I am helping out my family at the moment. I hope they can at least understand that.

Anyway, this morning started quite well. I got up this morning to make breakfast. My nephew was a bit cranky but he was under control. Somehow my sister managed to make him sleep, so we will have some peace and quite for a few hours.

Ok. Time to hit the shower. Afterwards, office work.... Ganbatte!!!

Doki Doki

This is Jo In Sung...

Can you blame me if my heart goes doki doki because of him?

Juggling...

My mum is hospitalised again since Friday night. The foot that got bitten is swollen again, down to the toes. And the colour is bluish. The doctor said there's virus infection. Today is Sunday and she is not yet discharged.

Hopefully she will be discharged tomorrow. But even if she is discharged, she won't be able to walk around with that swollen foot. I will take emergency leave for one or two days and help around the house until my mum gets better.

On a different note, since Kimura Takuya's Priceless ended, I haven't followed any Japanese or Korean dramas. I have been reading mangas a lot. I am into yaoi right now; somehow in manga world, love between 2 men seems so sweet and romantic to me.

Anyway, starting earlier this month I have been following a new Japanese drama called Biblia Koshodou no Jikan Techou (Antiquarian Bookshop Biblia's Case Files) starring Akira (he was Onizuka sensei in GTO 2012) and Gouriki Ayame (I saw her before in IS) as the owner of Biblia, an antique bookshop and a walking encylopedia of books and literature. Gouriki and Akira's characters solved mysteries and problems with antique/classic books as the main clue. It is so different from the other Japanese detective series I have ever watched and I really love how Gouriki character used her knowledge/expertise on classic books to solve the mysteries. The series is currently on air in Japan.

And yesterday I have started following a new Korean drama as well. It is called That Winter, The Wind Blows starring Jo In Sung and Song Hye-kyo. The series is based on  a Japanese drama called I Don't Need Love, Summer which was aired in 2002. I found from internet search that previously the Koreans have also made a movie based on the same Japanese drama. I am also currently watching the original Japanese drama. Not because I want to compare but just because I also want to know what the story is in the original version. Surely there will be variations between the 2 versions. Of course the actors in the Korean version are more handsome/beautiful, but at the moment I like both versions.

Now what I REALLY want to talk about is Jo In Sung. Before I watched this drama, I never knew him. He is so delicious to look at in this drama. Not only that, I think he acts really well. Now I discovered that this is his comeback drama after 7 years. My heart went doki doki everytime I watched his scenes.

Sigh! Ji Sung is gonna make me mellow and yellow for the weeks to come! Move over, Wheesung, Top, Hyun Bin, Hyun Woon, Sakuragi, Kabu, Ji Ho and Ren! You guys need to make some space for Ji Sung in my heart!

Kuroshitsuji - Live Action!!!

Oh my God!!!!!!

I just found that there will be a live action of Kuroshitsuji this year and that filming will start in April! Although I don't follow the manga, I lovvvvvveeeeee the anime!! And I lovveeeeeee Sebastian Michealis!!

The best part is Hiro Mizushima will act as Sebastian in the live action! I love Hiro since I watched him in Zettai Kareshi! And he played a butler in Mei-Chan no Shitsuji too! Oh my Goddddd!!! I can't wait!!!!

Am currently drooling over Hiro's teaser photos for Kuroshitsuji on his official website. I think he can pull it off as Sebastian as the perfect demon butler! Kyaaaa!! I have never been excited about a real actor being casted as an anime/manga character until now!

I hope the movie will come out great. From the info I read just now, the story will be an original one - set 130 years after the events in the manga. Well does this mean there will no Ciel Phantomhive in the movie version? If not, that will be quite a bummer because I love Ciel and I like the chemistry between Ciel and Sebastian.... Almost yaoi like! Muahhahahaha! I am such a pervert!

Here are snapshots of photos from Hiro's official website. Not sure if this is the character design for Hiro as Sebastian of 130 years later. There is a snapshot of the real Sebastian too. Sorry for the poor picture quality because I used my phone camera.

Hope to get more information on the movie!

Ganbatte!!

I got home from work at 9.30pm. After a few streches, I hoped on the cross-trainer and started paddling. Today I made it passed 5km in almost 30 minutes! I feel so happy right now!

I hope I will continue this exercise and maintain this discipline. The real reason for this exercise is of course to lose weight. But now that I think about it, this should be my starting point for a healthier lifestyle.

The best part is my thighs don't hurt like the first time I used the cross-trainer. And tonight I pedaled at between 18 to 20km/h for the final 10 minutes.  I hope soon I will be able to pedal at this speed throughout my exercise. Fight-oh!!! ^o^

Baby Steps

I could say that the weekend up until today is quite eventful. Lets start with the bad stuff first...

I just found out today that one of my uncles (my dad's younger brother) suffered a stroke last week. I still don't know how bad it was. Dramas unfolded when 2 of my cousins from my dad's side started posting stuff at facebook - giving the impression that my dad, along with his other brothers in Penang and Perak, do not care about this sick brother and about my grandmother (paternal) who is senile. The thing is no one told my dad anything about his brother until he got to Penang. My uncle in Penang told my dad and he also found out that day itself. As for my grandma, everybody knows she is senile but nobody (except me and my siblings) knows how many times my dad and mum persuaded her to come live with us. What I don't get is why the hell my uncle who lives 3 doors away from my grandma did not contact my dad at all about the sick brother? I really want to know. As for my cousins who wrote on facebook, what they did just show how shallow their mentality is.

Okay. Now for the good stuff...

My mum can walk now. She is doing better and I hope she will fully recover soon.

And as promised, here she is! Arrived on Saturday when I was on the way back from Seremban. Thank God my aunt was home when Fitness Concept delivered her. I tried it for the first time on Saturday night. I surrendered after 2km and 15 minutes! Obviously I haven't exercised for a longggg time and my energy level is very low! Today I managed 3km for 18 minutes. I think that's an improvement! Ganbatte q(^o^)p

And here are some photos from my belated birthday lunch with the girls. I got a delicious birthday ribs instead of a birthday cake! And I love my presents!!

Lovely!!!

It Was Over???

I've just realised that Valentine's Day has passed! Well so much has happened on Valentine's Day accept finding love. When I counted, the last time I went on a date was almost 5 years ago. I might be what you call the super single species. LOL

I have come to the point where I don't want to give up my independence but when I lay on the bed at night, I wish I have someone to cuddle with. Yes, I do feel lonely and that is not a big secret.

Last month I joined this dating website because it's free. I thought what the hell so I registered and posted my nicest smiling face on my profile. A day later I got quite a lot of winks and favouriteds and likes and later on I was notified by the website that I have received an email from someone who is interested in me. So I logged on to check out who sent that email and what did he say in that email. And guess what? I have to subscribe if I want to know who sent the email and to read that email. So I need to pay to find my future boyfriend. What a bummer!

So now I have like 10 unread emails on my profile. Fook it lah. I'm not gonna pay.

Well, if I can't find love and love can't find me for free, what can I do? I wonder if I will be alone until the day I die? Will I be sleeping alone for the rest of my life?

Suddenly I don't know what else to say...

Safe n Sound

My family is safely back from Penang. My mum looks alright. Though her feet is still swollen, it is the natural colour, not black and blue. I think and I hope she will recover fully soon.

Anyway, this morning after a long scolding session by my boss with all staff, I signed my promotion paper. I resolved that I will leave the company soon but with dignity and after I have proven myself worthy and deserving of the promotion. I don't want to leave with bad blood behind me. To be fair to my boss, she did fight for my promotion and increment so I shouldn't waste her effort.

And I also received a call from Fitness Concept sales people. My cross trainer will be delivered tomorrow. Yeay!!! It means I have to drive back to KL tomorrow morning and I hope I can make it in time for lunch with the girls.

I don't know how it is gonna be tomorrow because one of the girls hasn't spoken to me for a long time. Will it gonna be awkward? Will she pretend like nothing happened? Will she pretend like nothing happened during lunch tomorrow and afterwards she'll be back to ignoring me? Well, either way there's nothing I can do. As long as she is happy.

But I plan to have fun tomorrow. My mum is doing well. The whole family is safe and sound. And I want to forget what happened at the office during the week. It's time for myself. Oh and I can't wait to use the cross trainer!!

Cheers!!

Blue

After the long CNY weekend, I got back to work with a sinking feeling. That is how much I hate my job now. It is the same thing over and over again. Yes I just got promoted, but I guess it is only because my boss wants to keep me here longer. But for the past few weeks I've been getting scolding from her almost on a daily basis. Leave me feeling less and less motivated day by day.

I got scolded for everything that's happening in the office. If a staff made mistakes or missed deadlines, I got scolded too. I guess I deserved that because I am the manager after all.

And with the promotion, now there are added responsibilities but over all I am still doing the same thing. I am seriously bored with this job. Told her 2 years ago and also last year that I want to leave because I want to do something new. Then suddenly this promotion landed on my lap. But why give me this promotion if she doesn't think I deserve it?

Today I got scolded again and this time she asked me to think whether I want to take on the added responsibilities. The answer is plain and obvious to me right now but not because I cannot handle the extra responsibilities. All this while I have handled whatever it was that she threw at me... She still does. The answer is plain and obvious because I am really really bored with this job. I want to do new things. I want to work within a new environment. I want to meet new people. I want to learn and experience something new. Hell I have been with the same company since 2006 and have been doing the same job since 2005!

I seriously need to take action and control my life!!

On a different note, yesterday I finally ordered the cross trainer. *highfivetoself* I received an email from Fitness Concept today that my order is being process.

Meantime, my sister called me this morning and told me that my mum got bitten by something at the beach. The doctor suspected that it was a water snake. But thank God it is not serious. Her blood tests came out good so far but the doctor admitted her to the ward for tonight to monitor her just in case. I wanted to cry when I called her just now but I forced myself not too. She said I dont need to go there but just pray for her speedy recovery. She was still in pain at the foot where she was bitten.

The good thing is that my siblings are all there but, God forbid, if her conditions get worst, I will fly to Penang tomorrow. I'll pack a bag just in case.

The Snake Has Arrived!

Happy Lunar New Year!

It is the year of the Snake. I heard it is gonna be a good year for those who was born in the year of the dragon.

Many happy returns!!

Home Sweet Home

I'm back at my hometown for the long weekend. Tomorrow is the Lunar New Year so it's gonna be big celebrations everywhere.

My whole family is taking the week off and they will go to Penang for a holiday on Tuesday. I can't join them because I couldn't take the week off. What a bummer!

But maybe one day I can go holidaying in Penang with my friends. The one and only time I went to Penang was when I was 12 years old. That was wayyyy too long ago. I heard that Penang is so fun with lots of good food. Must go there someday!

Pain Pain Go Away...

The back of my neck and my right arm still hurt. I hate this. So uncomfortable. I put on some tiger balm ointment. It feels a bit better now. But I'm sure it will come back when I wake up tomorrow morning. Sigh!

The company's management announced yesterday that we will get half day off tomorrow in conjunction of the Chinese New Year this weekend. Yeayyyy! And my boss happily takes extra days off for a holiday in Phuket. *envy*envy*envy*jealous* Can't wait for my own holiday in April!

Anyway, I might not be able to enjoy the half day off tomorrow. So much *shait* to do. Really! I'm getting sick of doing the same thing for 8 years! But I just got promoted so I feel like cheating the company if I leave now. I need to survive for another year!

*selfmotivationmode* I can do it! Ganbatte!! Fighting!!! _______ *sigh* where have my fighting spirit gone? *_*

Good Night, Sweet Dreams...

This morning I woke up with pain at the back of my neck and on my right arm. I still have that pain right now. Maybe I slept on the wrong side of the bed last night. Well, I don't know...

And I haven't eaten well for the past 2 days and my meal times are also not consistent lately. On top of that, I feel really sluggish and get easily tired too.

When I think about it again, I haven't done any exercise either. I'm sure I have put on a lot of weight now. Sigh!!! I want to look nice and slender for my Seoul trip this coming April.

But most importantly, this unhealthy lifestyle is definitely not good for my kidney and liver. And also my heart. Where do I start for a healthy lifestyle? Fixed mealtimes? Healthy and nutritious food? Exercise?

I am thinking of buying a cross-trainer and put it in my room. I imagined that I can exercise using that machine everyday while watching tv. But many people told me that I will only use that machine for only about 2 to 3 months. After that, it will become a useless piece in my room. Really??

People, please! Encourage me! Motivate me! I will use that cross-trainer to exercise as long as my body is able to! I shall not foresake its existence and purpose! It will be a tool to shape my body! I will always have fun using it!!! I swear!!

I swear I'm gonna buy that cross-trainer very very soon!!!

Watch this space...

Lost But Never Gone

My friend lost her beloved husband yesterday. It was so sudden and I am still shocked by the news. When I saw her yesterday, she said "I don't know how to live right now...". That broke my heart.

I can only imagine what she is feeling right now. I thought it was the end of the world when the guy I really loved left me for someone else, but to have lost your dearest husband, your life partner, your bestfriend, the love of your life... I think the sorrow is much greater.

If I remember correctly, they were married for 4 years. Yes, it was such a short time but I am sure it was full with happy and loving memories. I hope those memories could help my friend smile, even for a little. And I hope that those memories will help remind my friend that her husband will always stay in her mind and her heart and that those memories will give her strength to live her life day by day. He is lost but never gone.

"Tears In Heaven" - Eric Clapton

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way
Through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven.

Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.

Beyond the door,
There's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

Puppy Love

My first puppy love was when I was 15. He was called "Boy". Ahahaha... I can see some of my readers rolling their eyes. 

He was a new student. I thought his nose holes were quite large, but I also thought that he was extremely good looking. We were not in the same class, so I was kinda looking at him from afar.

Our school had a big tarred yard. That was where the morning assembly was held. We would stand in rows according to our classes and we would face the building that housed our canteen. On the wall facing us, there were 2 really big mirrors. As the class monitor, I had to stand at the head of the row of my class and I could see one of the mirrors very clearly. And who happened to be reflected on that mirror? It was Boy.

At that time, I didn't know that from his point of view, I was the one reflected by that mirror. So he could see me looking at him through that mirror. I was embarrassed when I found out later.

I did not confess to him. Surprisingly, he confessed to me first. It was all because of that mirror. We ate together in the school canteen, we walked to the bus stop together to go home and sometimes, he popped in into the library to check on me when I was on duty. He had no interest whatsoever in books like I do, so the library was like a taboo to him.

I was actually very surprised that he liked me and would make me his girlfriend. I never thought myself as pretty. Besides, I was from the first class in my form, so I thought a guy like him would see me as bookish or boring or a nerd. He was really popular, especially because of his good looks.

As for me, I liked spending time with him. He was funny and also very considerate. He did not push me around but at the same time he can be quite protective. 

But I had to leave Boy and the rest of my friends in that school behind a year later. Because of my outstanding exam results, I was accepted into a special school in another state. I met new people, made new friends and apparently, developed new crushes along the way.

So that was my first puppy love. There was love but it was a childish love. There was no real complications, no real physical attractions, just two kids who cared for each other. 

To be honest, I have already forgotten how that feels. As I grew older, I found that love becomes more complex and complicated. There was a lot of feelings. Anger, jealousy, too much physical attractions, needy, clingy, misunderstandings and a lot more. Of course there were also lots of happy feelings and moments but I always wonder where those energy feelings come from. Love in the adult world can be very frightening.

Lately, I want to be in love again. When I remembered about my puppy love, I thought it will be very pleasant to fall in love again. But when I remembered how crushed I was when I lost my first love, I become afraid again. Could it be that I am still single because I am afraid of love? I always wondered about that.

In any event, I have just celebrated my birthday 2 weeks ago. I am a year older now. Can I still find love at my age? I wonder...