Langkawi, The Island Of Dreams

Hi! How is everybody? I bet everyone is counting down for the new year at this moment.

But, before we go on about the coming 2006 (any minutes now), here are some pictures taken during my trip to Langkawi Island. My family and I had the most wonderful and fun time in Langkawi.

After seeing and experiencing the island, I am now proud to say that Langkawi is indeed one of the most beautiful islands in the world! The people are warm and friendly, the food are delicious, and the scenery are simply gorgeous! I would definitely go and visit Langkawi again.

We stayed at the Langkasuka Resort, only five minutes away from the Langkawi Airport. Quite a nice resort with it's own private beach.

On our first day, after checking in at the hotel, we when out for a quick tour at Pekan Kuah, the main town of Langkawi. We cruised around the duty free shops and had a quick look around the gift and souvenirs shops there. In the afternoon, we went back to the hotel and swam at the private beach.

On the next day, we went to Langkawi Oriental Park. They have a rabbit farm, a deer farm, a few sourvenir shops and restaurants. The main attraction is the cable car, which is the longest one in the world. The cable car will take you up to the highest hill in Langkawi. The view from up there was spectacular! Took my breath away! The most beautiful combination of the colours blue, white and green... in all shades!

The night scenery in Langkawi is also very beautiful. I have never seen so many stars in my life!

On our second day, we went island hopping by a rented boat. First, we went to Pulau Dayang Bunting (the Virgin Maiden Island). There are lots of monkeys there, so we have to be careful with our plastic bags or they will snatch it from us as they have associated the plastic bags with food. At the heart of the Virgin Maiden Island is a beautiful lake surrounded by hills and trees. The water is so cool and perfect for swimming. You can also hitch a ride on the paddle boat around the lake.

Our second island is Pulau Singa Besar (the Big Lion Island). It is the natural habitat for the Langkawi eagles. It was my first encounter with wild eagles and it was thrilling! Such magnificent birds! Our boatman threw some chicken skins into the water and the eagles flew around above us and one by one they flew down and snatched the chicken skins from the water.

Our last island is Pulau Beras Basah (the Wet Rice Island). We spent almost 3 hours here swimming. The water was so clear and blue and the sand was the whitest I have ever seen. I had so much fun swimming and collecting seashells there.

We went back to the hotel at around 4pm. We were dead tired but also so happy. Around 6 pm, we went to Pekan Kuah and did some shopping. We flew back to Kuala Lumpur on the next day.

Oh, forgot to tell you that it was also my first experience on an airplane. On our flight to Langkawi, I experienced the worst case of air pressure. I felt like my head was going to explode! Thank God, the flight back to KL was okay.

So, that's my story of my trip to Langkawi. I hope one of these days I can go back there and experience the same fun I had.

No Me Ames

Do you have a favourite duet? Mine is No Me Ames by Jennifer Lopez (sexy kitten!) and Marc Anthony (that voice could cut me into pieces!). I am not only in love with the song, I am also in love with the videoclip. I cried everytime I saw it!

Dime porque lloras
De felicidad
Y porque te ahogas
Por la soledad
Di porque me tomas
Fuerte asi, mis manos
Y tus pensamientos
Te van llevando
Yo te quiero tanto
Y porque sera
Loco testarudo
No lo dudes mas
Aunque en el futuro
Haya un muro enorme
Yo no tengo miedo
Quiero enamorarme
No me ames
Porque pienses
Que parezco diferente
Tu no piensas que es lo justo
Ver pasar el tiempo juntos
No me ames
Que comprendo
La mentira que seria
Si tu amor no merezco
No me ames
Mas quedate otro dia
No me ames
Porque estoy perdido
Porque cambie el mundo
Porque es el destino
Porque no se puede
Somos un espejo
Y tu asi serias
Lo que yo de mi reflejo
No me ames
Para estar muriendo
Dentro de una guerra
Llena de arrepentimientos
No me ames
Para estar en tierra
Quiero alzar el vuelo
Con tu gran amor
Por el azul del cielo
No se que decirte
Esa es la verdad
Si la gente quiere
Sabe lastimar
Tu y yo partiremos
Ellos no se mueven
Pero en este cielo
Sola no me dejes
No me dejes, no me dejes
No me eschuches
Si te digo "no me ames"
No me dejes, no desarmes
Mi corazon con ese "no me ames"
No me ames, te lo ruego
Mi amargura dejame
Sabes bien, que no puedo
Que es inutil
Que siempre te amare
No me ames
Pues te hare sufrir
Con este corazon que
Se lleno de mil inviernos
No me ames
Para asi olvidarte
De tus dias grises
Quiero que me ames
Solo por amarme
No me ames
Tu y yo volaremos
Uno con el otro
Y seguiremos siempre juntos
Este amor es como el sol que sale
Tras de la tormenta
Como dos cometas
En la misma estela
No me ames
No me ames
No me ames
No, no me ames
No me ames
No me ames
No me ames

I have the translation below... It's actually a conversation between two people. One is afraid to love and be loved, and the other is ready to sacrifice everything for love. That's sweet. But in real life, is there anyone who's willing to sacrifice for love? I've met lots of people who are afraid of love, but the ones who are willing to sacrifice for love are rare to find. As for me, if I could have someone who is willing to make sacrifices in order to love me, I would be ready to sacrifice to love him too!

Marc:Why are you crying?
Jennifer:Because i'm happy
Marc:Why are you so choked up?
Jennifer:From loneliness
Marc:Why are you squeezing
My hand so tight
And your mind seems to be wandering
Jennifer:I love you so much!
Marc:Why?
Jennifer:Don't be so hard-headed
Stop doubting me!
It doesn't matter what the future holds
I'm not afraid
I just want to love you
Marc:Don't love me
Because you think i'm different
Jennifer:You don't think it's right for us
To spend this time together?
Marc:Don't love me because i know
What a lie it would be!
Jennifer:If you don't think i deserve your love
Then don't love me
I'm going to stay...
Marc:Don't love me because i'm lost
Because i change the world
Because it's destiny
Because this is impossible
We are like a mirror image of each other
We are one and the same
Jennifer:Don't love me to be dying
In a war of regret
Don't love me to hold me back
I want to rise above
This love deserves to soar through the sky
Marc:I don't know what to say
That's the truth
When people want to
They can really hurt you
Jennifer:If you and i part now
It won't matter to anyone else
In this big world
Don't leave me all alone
Marc:Don't leave me...don't leave me
Don't listen when i say "don't love me"
Jennifer:Don't leave me
Stop breaking my heart with that"don't love me"
Marc:Don't love me, i'm begging you to leave
Jennifer:You know very well i can't do that
It's useless, i'll always love you
Marc:Don't love me
I'll only make you suffer
My heart has turned cold with this
Jennifer:Don't love me
To run away from your sadness
I want you to love me
Because you love me
Marc:Don't love me
One day we'll soar with each other
And be together forever
Jennifer:This love is like the sun
That comes out after a terrible storm
Both:Like two comets in the same galaxy
Marc:Don't love me
Jennifer:Don't love me
Marc:Don't love me...

Dangerously In Love 2

My favourite pics of Beyonce and below is one of my most favourite Beyonce's songs. She's so sexy, isn't she? If I were a man, she would definitely be my dream girl ;)

I don't have to tell what the song is all about... The title alone is enough to give you an idea what Beyonce is trying to say through this song. It is about a woman who is so dangerously in love... because she is so deeply in love with the man, she is open for heartache and hurt and pain. In other words, her love for this man becomes a threat to her because it makes her vulnerable.

What more can I say? I have been in love, still in love... and yes, love is the one thing that can hurt you the most! Even hatred could not hurt you this much...

I love you
Baby I love you
You are my life
My happiest moments weren't complete
If you weren't by my side
You're my relation
In connection to the sun
With you next to me
There's no darkness
I can't overcome
You are my raindrop
I am the sea
With you and God, who's my sunlight
I bloom and grow so beautifully
Baby, I'm so proud
So proud to be your girl
You make the confusion
Go all away
From this cold and messed up world
I am in love with you
You set me free
I can't do this thing
Called life without you here with me
Cause I'm Dangerously In Love with you
I'll never leaveJust keep lovin' me
The way I love you loving me
And I know you love me
Love me for who I am
Cause years before I became who I am
Baby you were my man
I know it ain't easy
Easy loving me
I appreciate the love and dedication
From you to me
Later on in my destiny
I see myself having your child
I see myself being your wife
And I see my whole future in your eyes
Thought of all my love for you sometimes make me wanna cry
Realize all my blessings
I'm grateful
To have you by my side
Every time I see your face
My heart smiles
Every time it feels so good
It hurts sometimes
Created in this world
To love and to hold
To feel
To breathe
To love you
Dangerously in love
Can't do this thing
I love you , I love you, I love you
I'll never leave
Just keep on loving me
I'm in love with you
I can not do
I cannot do anything without you in my life
Holding me, kissing me, loving me
Dangerously
I love you
Dangerously in love

The Day After Christmas

So, how was your Christmas? Got lots of presents? Since I don't celebrate Christmas, I don't expect to receive presents from anybody, of course.

I'm feeling a little bit better today. Actually, I'm trying to be positive... I know if I keep entertaining my blues, I won't get anywhere and I won't feel any better. So, let's just say that I'm looking forward for better things to come. There's no harm in this thing called "HOPE", right?

At home, we are a little bit busy. This afternoon, we all will go back to Putrajaya and tomorrow, we will catch the morning flight to Langkawi Island for the holiday. On the left is Simon Bracken's photoshot of Langkawi. To be exact, it's a shot of Pulau Singa Besar, one of the many islands in Langkawi. It's beautiful, isn't it?

Honestly, tomorrow would be my first time to an island and also my first time on a flight. Finally... when I'm about to reach my 29 years of age, I got to fly by an aeroplane. My dream is someday I would get to travel all around the world. Maybe taking the time off for a year or two and spend my time travelling to all the exotic, romantic and beautiful country around the world. I would love to go to a Europe trip and then round the exotic Latin American countries. Not to forget China, Korea and Japan... they have the most beautiful culture amidst the modernisation of their countries. And of course to South Africa, Morocco, Turkey, Egypt... There are so many things to see. I would die in peace if I could see all the 7 wonders of the world!

I think the trip to Langkawi would be a good start for me. Next year, I would definitely apply for an international passport (I have never got one!). And then I would start saving money for my first trip overseas... Bali perhaps? Or maybe the nearby Singapore.

Would I go on my dream trip on my own or with a friend? I think it's great if you could go on a holiday trip with someone special like your family or bestfriend or your boyfriend/girlfriend. It would be an extrawonderful trip if you could share the fun and excitement with someone, right? And then, when you got back and you grow old, you can always reminisce the memories together. What's the harm in sharing the fun and sweet memories?

Okay, let's go back to Langkawi. Langkawi is an island situated in Kedah, one of the 14 states in Malaysia. It is upnorth of Malaysia and has been hailed as one of the most beautiful islands in the world. So, can you now imagine how excited I am now? I'm so lucky because I can share this excitement with my family. I hope the weather there would be fine and I hope we would have a safe trip.

I would tell you all about my trip soon as I get back. Of course, I would upload the pictures taken there.

Christmas Blues

I woke up this morning feeling sad and blue.

I want to cry and I want to shout. But all these mixed feelings I have are locked inside my heart, they couldn't get out, making my body so weak and tired.

I have once had this feeling before. A very cruel and torturous feeling. Especially when you don't have anyone to confide in. I mean, in my case, I don't want to. I feel embarrassed to tell anyone that I am, yet again, failed in love and relationship. I can't even tell my bestfriend about it. And writing in this blog is the only way I can pour out my thoughts b'coz I know and I am sure, no one would come and surf this page. At least not anyone I know.

Is there a way to describe my feelings now? I don't think so. The contents in my heart are so tangled and jumbled up, I don't even know where is the beginning and where is the end. All I know is they have left me feeling so so sad... No, sad is not the word... I'm almost grieving... devastated and frustrated...

I am so dying to have this relationship work out. I thought I have found me a guy who can love me, appreciate me and respect. And I thought I have found me a guy whom I can love, respect and appreciate. But it's seems like, I'm the only one left feeling this way.

He has gone away now. With no explanation.

Can you imagine what I'm feeling right now? Not knowing what I have done wrong to deserve this... But I guess I must have done something terrible to him (without me realising it).

I don't know what to think anymore...

Let me tell you the truth. We have been together for more than a year now. But I don't even know his house address or his house phone number. I don't know his friends... not even their names. We met once every few months... for about 2,3 hours after work. The only movie we went to together is Spiderman 2 which was last year, during our first date. I'm so pathetic, am I? You might want to ask me how could I let myself fell in love with a guy who doesn't let me be part of his life, right? Well, my answer is... I don't know. All I know is I fell in love with him because he is him. I'm sorry I cannot come out with a better explanation.

And until today I still love him the way I have always loved him. That's why this is all very hurtful to me. Yes, somebody has told me before that the person who can hurt you the most is the one you really love. I guess this is what really happening to me.

What I really want right now is him coming back to me... but what is the point if he doesn't love me, right? Because love is about two people having mutual feelings towards each other... it's about giving and sharing.

Early in the morning i put breakfast at your table
And make sure that your coffee has it's sugar and cream
Your eggs are over easy, your toast done lightly
All that's missing is your morning kiss that used to greet me
Now you say your juice is sour, it used to be so sweet
And i can't help but to wonder if you're talking about me
We don't talk the way we used to talk, it's hurting me so deep
I got my pride, i will not cry
But it's making me weak

I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everythings ok
Boy i am only human
This girl needs more than occasional
Hugs as a token of love from you to me

I fought my way through the rush hour trying to make it home just for you
I want to make sure that your dinner will be waiting for you
But when you get there you just tell me you're not hungry at all
You said you'd rather read the paper and you don't want to talk
You're like to think that i'm just crazy when i say that you've changed
I'm convinced i know the problem, you don't love me the same
You're just going through the motions and you're not being fair
I got my pride, i will not cry
Still i can't help but care

Ooh baby, look into the corner of your mind
I'll always be there for you through good and bad times
But i can't be that superwoman that you want me to be
I give my everlasting love if you return love to me

If you feel it in your heart and you understand me stop right where you are,
everybody sing along with me
I'm the kind of girl that can treat you so sweet
But you got to realize that you've got to be sweeter to me
I need love, i need trust, your love

Various photos of me taken during Aidilfitri. That's my good friend, Laila. We were housemates, roommates and classmates during our University year. She is now the Senior Assistant Registrar at the Court of Appeal. Very proud of her!

The last picture is Coko, my family's cat. Isn't he cute?

My Funny Valentine

My funny valentine

Sweet comic valentine

You make me smile with my heart

You looks are laughable, unphotographable

Yet you're my favorite work of art

Are your looks less than greek

Is your mouth a little bit weak

When you open it to speak, are you smart

Don't change your hair for me

Not if you care for me

Stay little valentine stay

Each day is valentine's day

Season's Greetings

It's Christmas!!!
Time of joy and for lots of presents! What do you get from Mr. Claus this year! My wish for Christmas (I don't celebrate Christmas actually... but what's the harm?) is for happiness and good fortunes for my friends and family, especially to my boyfriend.

In a week's time, we'll say bye bye to year 2005 and welcome to year 2006. I am aspired to become a better person than I am now next year. I hope I can help more people next year and I will certainly continue to be a good friend to all of my friends! What's your resolutions for the coming new year?

Looking back from January 2005 to today, I would be proud to say that I have a good start in year 2005. I ceased practice as an advocate & solicitor and jumped to an international loss adjusting company as a claims administrator. I get to handle and administer professional indemnity claims from lawyers. Each of the claims I received is unique and different. Some of them are just plain weird... Next year, the department I am currently in would no longer be in operation. All the PI claims works will be handled by a new company. This week I got 2 phone calls from 2 big companies offering me jobs based on my work performance in my current company. Just imagine! They told me that I am dynamic, hard working, bright, sharp...! It's great to know that all my hard works are noticed and recognized. I have told my family and bestfriend of this good news. But right now, I wish my boyfriend is here with me because I want to share this with him too... I wonder where he is and what's he up to right now...

Anyways, this leads to the story of my love life this year. Well, I have to admit that my love life is somewhat shaky this year... and I think it is not getting any better. I would rather say that I am to be blamed. I guess with my over-emotional personality... suka imagine and fikir yg bukan2 (mostly negative things) has finally caused my boyfriend to lose his patience with me. Now, he has not been speaking to me for over 2 weeks! I don't know what to do. He refused to answer my calls or reply my messages. I know I must have done or say something wrong to him... or else why would he want to give me this silent treatment?

I came across his Friendster page just now. There are some cute photos of him. Looking at them made me realise how much I miss him right now. I hope I can find a way to make things right again. But I also feel kinda sad because there is this one young girl who wrote a testimonial for his site... From what I was reading, it seems like my boyfriend and this young girl has a special relationship going. I am trying not make any negative conclusions out of this... But honestly, I feel jealous and sad. What if I am only his spare part while waiting for this girl to come back from studying abroad? If only I can get an explanation right now... and an assurance... from him...

I don't know... I feel like I'm losing hope in this relationship already... With him not speaking to me... and the possibility that he has another girl in his life... I can't even begin to explain how I'm feeling right now. It's truly devastating when you know that you are losing the love of your life... and knowing that you have not a chance to make things right makes it even more unbearable! I have gone through this before. I'm not sure if I can go through it again this time. but I can feel that old wound inside my heart has started to bleed again...

what's the time?

seems it's already morning

i see the sky

it's so beautiful and blue

the tv's on but the only thing showing

is a picture of you...

oh i get up

and make myself some coffee

i try to read a bit

but the story's too thin

i thank the Lord above

that you're not here to see me

in this shape i'm in

spending my time

watching the days go by

feeling so small

i stare at the wall

hoping that you think of me too

i'm spending my time

i try to call

but i don't know what to tell you

i leave a kiss on your answering machine

oh help me please

is there someone who can make me

wake up from this dream

spending my time

watching the days go by

feeling so small

i stare at the wall

hoping that you are missing me too

i'm spending my time

watching the sun goes down

i fall asleep on the sound

of tears of the clown

a prayer's gone blind

i'm spending my

my friends keep telling me

"hey, life will go on"

time will make sure i get over you

this silly game of love

you play you win only to lose

I could cry every time I hear that song (Roxette, "Spending My Time"). One of my favourite songs. It perfectly captures the feeling of someone who has lost love but could not let go, the feeling of the first time you suddenly realised that you are alone. It's the same feeling I am having right now.

Abang, if you are reading this... I just want to say that I am so sorry if I have hurt your feelings. But please trust me... deep inside my heart, you own that special place...

Well, I would definitely say that this is not the kind of feeling I want to have to end this year. I want to be happy... I am dying to make everyone around me happy! But I guess, I am a failure in this aspect. God knows what in for me in year 2006.

Festive Fever

Gosh!

It's been a long time... when was the last time I updated my blog anyway?

Actually, I have some new pics to upload but since it is difficult to do it
from my office computer, I'll do it some other time.

So... what's to talk about today? We Malaysians are in festive season.
We've just celebrated Deepavali and Aidilfitri. Coming December, we are
going to celebrate Christmas and a week later, New Year.

Wow! How time flies fast while we are having fun!

My family and I celebrated Aidilfitri in so much joy and fun. It was great
to be together again. We have a spring cleaning a few days before
Aidilfitri... we cleaned the house, changed the cushion covers, changed the
curtains, baked cookies and so on. The funnest part was going shopping. It
was not a personal shopping actually. We went out shopping for some new
clothes for Yus (my lil bro' who is actually not that "lil"... he's more
than 180cm tall!) and Adik (my lil sis).

On Aidilfitri, we all went to my grandparents' house in Seremban and Hulu
Langat. It was tiring but it was also worth it.

Now we are nearing the end of year 2005. Remember last year the tsunami
hits most of South East Asia countries a day after Christmas? I hope this
year we can say farewell to year 2005 in good mood, contentment and
gratification. Even though there are still some parts of this world where
people still suffers from war, famine and discrimination, at least we know
that we are still living in this part of the world where peace is in order.

Next year I'll be 29 years old. My parents and grandparents have been
nagging about my unmarried state since 4 years ago, i.e. as soon as I turn
25. But this year, the tension of being nagged for lack of marriage
proposals in my favour (actually, I have received zero marriage proposal to
speak of..) intensified as I am nearing the big three oh. Starting next
year, I'll be praying very hard to God to open my boyfriend's heart to
propose marriage to me. Abang, if you are reading this, please seriously
consider my request!

Anyway, I admit that sometimes I do think about marriage or being married.
Every time the subject enters my mind, I would either have a cold feet or a
sheer longing... depending on what I was imagining about marriage at that
time. However, considering my age and my achievements in life, I am
actually more than ready to become a wife or a mother.

My mum told me that you cannot actually be certain whether you are ready or
not to commit yourself into a marriage until you are married. Well... that
really explains the rate of divorce we are having nowadays! But somehow, I
do agree with my mum. Recently I was asked by my boss to attend a meeting
with our broker alone. I thought, shit, I'm not ready for that. I'm still
new in this job. But my boss said he knows I can do it... But I knew I
can't do it! But I did it anyway for fear of losing my job. Amazingly, the
soonest I took my seat at the broker's office, I felt calm and almost
serene. When the meeting started, I realized that my boss was right... I
could do it! Of course I blurted out some stupid remarks now and then
during the meeting but as a whole, I was doing all right.

So, that's why I agree with my mum's opinion about getting married. You
have to be in that position first in order to know whether or not you are
ready. And the fact that you are willing to be in that position is clear
enough evidence that you are indeed ready. The only point left is whether
or not you can carry the responsibilities and make sacrifices expected of
you during that marriage. I am sure that if you really love your
husband/wife, you could even move mountains!

Anyway, since I am the eldest child in my family and the first grandchild
to my grandparents, it is important to everyone in my family ( including
among my uncles, aunts and cousins) to see me happily married to a good
guy. I think I have found the good guy already. The only thing is, he
looks like he's not keen on marriage just yet. What am I supposed to do?
Cheat him into marrying me? Well... I'm not going that low...

I think enough talk about marriage. It makes my head pounds.

The Look of Love

Last month I bought a new compilation CD entitled "Voices We Love" by various artistes such as Norah Jones, Micheal Buble, Josh Groban, Sarah McLachlan and so on. Since the time I bought the CD, I haven't really got the chance to really listen to all the songs featured in the compilation. Besides, I was quite fond with another CD by a local male crooner that I didn't bother to listen to the other CDs I bought including the Voices We Love.

Early this week, I've decided to check out all the new CDs I bought and by chance, I came upon the Voices We Love. I was wondering why I haven't listened to this CD yet when I saw in the songs list the big names of jazz like Alison Moyet, K.D. Lang and Diana Krall. There's also this new girl Renee Olstead (I hope I spelt the name correctly :p) who sings like she's been singing her whole life. So, I put the CD into my CD player and started listening, I mean REALLY listening to the songs...

The CD started with Norah Jones, Micheal Buble and Josh Groban... followed by other artistes like Aretha Franklin, Joss Stone, Renee Olstead and 2 others whom I can't remember. Suddenly, this smooth and romantic jazz song hit the air. I was lullabied by the jazzy strings. And when I was swinging with music, Diana Krall started to croon "The Look of Love"...

Oh God! This is the most beautiful love song I've ever heard! It's like a lullaby not only to your ears but also to your heart and soul. Hearing this song, I felt like I want to fall in love very badly. The melody sipped into my blood and my skin was blotted with goosebumps by every struck of chord.

I was like, "Stop, Diana, stop torturing my heart with your song," but I kept repeating the song over and over again. Diana's voice was so husky and romantic and it sweetly stabbed my heart like Cupid's arrow of love! I could feel myself drowning deeper and deeper into the vision of love created by this song and I rose higher and higher with every words she sang...

I couldn't help by sighing everytime I hear this song! This is the perfect song for your wedding, the perfect song for a candlelit dinner with your loved one, the perfect song to dance with your lover, the perfect song to simply dream about love...

The look of love
Is in your eyes
The look your smile can't disguise
The look of love
Is saying so much more
Than just words could ever say
And what my heart has heard
Well it takes my breath away

I can hardly wait to hold you
Feel my arms around you
How long i have waited
Waited just to love you
Now that i have found you

You've got the look of love
It's on your face
A look that time can't erase
Be mine tonight
Let this be just the start
Of so many nights like this
Let's take a lover's vow
And then seal it with a kiss

I can hardly wait to hold you
Feel my arms around you
How long i have waited
Waited just to love you
Now that i have found you
Don't ever go

I can hardly wait to hold you
Feel my arms around you
How long i have waited
Waited just to love you
Now that i have found you
Don't ever go
Don't ever go
I love you so

A Sonnet For My Friend

A soul of kindness
Her heart brings brightness
A friend in need
Is a true friend indeed

Secrets unfold
Her love never cold
Laughter and tears
She holds both so dear

Wise she is not
But smart all the same
When her mood is hot
She could drive me insane!

A silent listener
An informal adviser
Criticize she has never
Or judgmental to others

She is a cheer
She is my dear
Always by my side
In high or low tides

A friend for ever
I wish she would be
We’ll stay together
In life’s eternity

Tale of the Dark Lord

I went to see Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith with my bestfriend, Jan on the 21 May 2005 at Berjaya Times Square. It was quite brilliant even though most of the actors were rigid in their acting. But I would say that best performance should go to Hayden Christensen who played Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader. His eyes and facial expressions said a lot! The movie inspired me to write a poem about Anakin Skywalker. This would be the 3rd poem I've ever written in my entire life.

Tale of the Dark Lord

On a far away planet of desert and sand
Lived a boy with the inventor’s hand
A powerful force surrounded him
Bound for greatness his future seems

On a race of machines his fate was sealed
While a Jedi Master watched his deed
Soon he was told of the warrior he would be
The Chosen One to save the whole of galaxy

A loving mother he left behind
Whose beautiful face was stamped in his mind
A courage boy determined to outshine
Fulfilling a destiny beyond mankind

His torments began with the death of his mother
Unable to protect her as he is beyond the border
A pledge he made to defeat the dark force
And never again he would face another loss

Under the great Masters’ watchful eyes
The warrior grew up and became a Knight
Love from a princess in his heart lies
Gave him strength in every battle he fights

A secret marriage on the planet Naboo
But known to him that it was all taboo
Righteous and wisdom he started to doubt
Ego and pride were all he cared about

So hurry he wanted to climb the ladder
So hungry he was to become the great leader
But under the guide of a Master and brother
He learned to understand and became wiser

Young as he was, his blood was ready to boil
The battles brought him a thousand and one turmoil
With a vision of his beloved wife died of childbirth
His heart and soul began to feel the hurt

He had once lost his loving mother
Now how could he live without his wife and lover?
The great solution he must find
To prevent a death of a soul so kind

Under great duress he was forced to believe
That only the dark side could give him the relief
His heart and mind torn to fractions
His love became the source for manipulation

His soul was soon lost to the dark side
The temptation to save his love he couldn’t fight
In his mind he believed he would have the power to cheat death
But in his heart he knew this is something beyond regret

Anger, shame, power and lust
Love was no longer meant to last
Even his wife he couldn’t trust
And kill his brother he now must

He lost his fight and his beloved wife
The volcanic fire altered his life
Under the black mask was the revenge lair
His doom began with the birth of his heirs

DM-26/05/05

Count on Me

Danielle... i don't have the talent to say much in words... but this song says it all... Thank you for being such a great friend and always sacrificing your time, energy, ear, shoulder, everything, to me.

Count on me through thick and thin
A friendship that will never end
When you are weak, I will be strong
Helping you to carry on
Call on me, I will be there, don't be afraid
Please believe me when I say, count on

I can see that it's hurting you,
I can feel your pain
It's hard to see the sunshine, through the rain,
oh I know sometimes it seems as if, it's never gonna end
But you'll get through it
Just don't give in cause you can

You can count on me
I know sometimes it seems as if, we're standing all alone
Be we'll get through it, 'cause love won't let us fall
There's a place inside of all of us
Where our faith in love begins
You should reach to find the truth in love
The answers there within, oh I know that life can make you feel
It's much harder than it really is
But we'll get through it, just don't give in

A Note On Friendship

Through my 28 years of life, I have met many people from different races,religions and backgrounds. Most of them I have befriended... some are still my friends (always in my thought but seldom contacted)...My fondest memories of friendship are those when I was still in uni... when I was completing my degrees. Jan, Laila, Eda, Tuya, Liza, Ana, Asdi, Aya & Ita...

They were and are still my good friends. But as I move on with my live, and grow older and more mature in terms of emotions and mentality, I find that some of the friendships seeds I sowed have grown into beautiful blossoming flowers... some just died and never grow. But the ones which are indeed in full bloom, I so cherish and love with all my heart.

But my most favourite and cherished friendship flower is "My Daisy". We started out as just friends with similar interest... books, music, movies... Then we realised that we have begun to understand each other better and to accept each other's flaws and bad habits. In time, we began to confide to each other and share the other's secrets. Strange but true... we seldom say "I love" to each other, and yet we always now that our love and hope for each other are beyond words!! And suddenly we become "bestfriends", a concept which sometimes wrongly interpreted and used.

"My Daisy" is indeed my bestfriend in the truest meaning of the term. Everything I do or I want to do... I must tell her and share with her. When I need someone to turn to, she is the first one that pops into my mind... the second one is my boyfriend. She always keeps an open mind to everything I want to tell her. And I have great pleasure entertaining her moods... happy, sad, lonely, excited, angry, embarass, fear... And I always try to make myself available to her as much as I can. Sounds like a devoted love, but it is actually not like that... We simply try to be there to each other and be honest to each other...

There are times when can't always be together but we always know that we are in each other's heart and thought. That's the power of "bestfriendship"! Somebody once had said to me that "Frienship is another kind of love... it's the happy feeling you get when you are laughing or sharing a secret". I find that this message rings true between me and "My Daisy". I find most pleasure when we laugh together and when she confides something in me.... and vice versa. Well, when we have a good friend by our side, we should be grateful. Not everybody find their "soulmate" in friendship.

Nevertheles, one day when I be somebody's wife, my friendship with "My Daisy" would surely take a different turn because when I am married, my responsibilities and priorities will change. No doubt, at those times, "My Daisy" would feel that she is neglected or abandoned. However, I believe that the meaning of friendship does not lie in the amount of time we spend together... but on the thoughts that we had for each other and knowing that she will be there when I need her, and I will be there when she needs me... I wish I have the lyrics to "You Got A Friend" (Carol King) but I think the poem of friendship below would do....

I got to know a girl
Whose past had not been a thrill
But once you get to know her deep inside
You'll begin to see her beauty, both inside and outside
I can't help but feel attracted
And trying hard not to be distracted
Although some may call it a crush
But then again it's not a feeling which came in a rush
I once saw her crying
And you know that she's hurting
Wanted to touch and hug her
But I guess my mind just began to wander
They say life is tough
And you'll never know when you may meet an arshloch !
Though circumstances had not been kind
She nevertheless is not blind
For she knows that the past
Would not determine her future
Unless she allows it to last
And not see the real picture
My hope for her is that she'll one day find
Both happiness and joy
In a person who would be kind
Who isn't just another ploy
In the meantime, she will find tremendous joy
In her kids who would not turn down a good toy
And if she ever needed a friend to be
I hope that she could find it in me

Jan, thank you for always being there for me...

Testing.. testing

<DIV><FONT color=#ff9f40>Actually, I am testing whether I can post to my blog via the internet. Hopefully it works, so I can update it from where ever I am...</FONT></DIV><p>__________________________________________________<br>Do You Yahoo!?<br>Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around <br>http://mail.yahoo.com

Me & Frenz! Ana, Jan (my gal!), Eda, Tuya, me and Tuya's friend. 

Time After Time

Today is Mother's Day!

Mama was so happy when she got her present this morning. She loves the handbag! And she loves the card also!

I am going back to KL this afternoon, hope to reach Bangsar before dark. Tomorrow is another working day. So much to do... suddenly I can see the files piling on my table.

I was a practising lawyer for 2 years. After the change of wind however, I found my life more relax. This new job is interesting! Before this I have to deal with other lawyers as my opponents in court, sparring words... application after application, affidavit after affidavit, letter after letter... Sometimes things got so personal! Now the lawyers are at my mercy. Depending on me to help them deal with the lawsuits and claims against their practice or themselves personally. It's great to see things at a different angle. And the challenge is also a different type of challenge. Satisfaction comes when the claims are settled without much hassle, especially when everybody wins and the lawyers thank me! Hahahah!

But it would be wrong for me to say that this new job is easy. It is definitely not easy! I have to deal with my principals everyday... and the brokers representing the lawyers are so demanding, wanting to know every move I make and every step I take. At least this type of hustle bustle I can deal with... like eating nuts. Hahaha!!

After almost 3 years being in the shoes of a career woman, I find myself metamorphoses into a more mature and more rational person. I can now see my responsibilities and priorities more clearly. I am lucky because now I am still single. I can't imagine how I would cope with my job and my life if I am married and with children. That is why working mothers are miracles! Somehow they manage to put everything into place. My mama said, when you are a mother, every move you make becomes almost instinctive and your desire for survival becomes stronger. Of course... a mother has to survive because the whole family depends on her. Anyone doesn't agree with me?

Meanwhile, I have posted some pictures of me and my family last night. I have also added some new links. I recommend you guys visit the Solosong's website. She certainly has great music there. I especially love the songs from the 80's. She also has Edith Piaf's "La Vie En Rose". Such a beautiful melody! *Sigh*

If you are a Keanu Reeves's fan, check out KeanuWeb. They have great pics of Keanu plus the latest news on his films.

For poetry lovers, I added a special link to EveryPoet wherein they featured new and classic poets written by well known and celebrity poets. Honestly, I don't know a thing about poetry, but I love reading them when I have the time. I don't have any poems collection but the ones I have read are from this cool website. Go there!

I am currently browsing the net to find other interesting websites to share with you. So far, these 3 are my favourites.

Okay, the song I want to share with you today is "If Tomorrow Never Comes", originally by Garth Brooks. You have probably heard the cover version by Ronan Keating. But my favourite version is the one sang by this R&B group, Joose (or is it Jooce? I can't remember). I don't think Joose still exists tho'.

Sometimes late at night

I lie awake and watch her sleeping

She's lost in peaceful dreams

So i turn out the lights and lay there in the dark

And the thought crosses my mind

If i never wake up in the morning

Would she ever doubt the way i feel

About her in my heart

(chorus)

If tomorrow never comes

Will she know how much i loved her

Did i try in every way to show her every day

That she's my only one

And if my time on earth were through

And she must face the world without me

Is the love i gave her in the past

Gonna be enough to last

If tomorrow never comes

'Cause i've lost loved ones in my life

Who never knew how much i loved them

Now i live with the regret

That my true feelings for them never were revealed

So i made a promise to myself

To say each day how much she means to me

And avoid that circumstance

Where there's no second chance to tell her how i feel

*chorus*

So tell that someone that you love

Just what you're thinking of

If tomorrow never comes

Such a beautiful song... the words really touch my heart. I agree that it would be a great regret if we forget to remind someone we care how much we love him/her. Actually, the simple words "I love you" could land a great effect on the one who hears them. So, don't take the meaning of "I love you" for granted. Say it only when you mean it.

Me and my siblings and cousins. 

Coko... the family's cat. Cuteeeeeeeeee!!!!!! 

Babah and Mama, the 2 most important persons in my life! 

Me and my brother and sisters with our Grandma. I'm the new model for a toothpaste commercial! 

This is me! 

Mother's Day

Tomorrow would be the Mother's Day.

I went to the store with my sister to buy something nice for mama. After browsing around, we finally found the perfect gift for her. A cute black handbag with wooden handle and a big daisy print at the front. I'm sure mama would love it! I also bought a pair of strap-buckled shoes for my other sister. Her birthday was on 30th April... this year will be her 25th year of life. She can't be with us this week 'cause she has to do some preparations for her short course next week. I hope she'll get a boyfriend this year. Hehehe...

How's your relationship with your mum?

My mama is a working mother. She will be 51 years old this year and she still looks like she's 40. Even though she's working, she never failed to cook for us and take care of us. She's more than a mother... she's also a friend. Somehow, she always find the time to listen to our stories, our complaints, our whinings. If someone ask me how I regard my mama, I would say that mama is our angel, our rock to hold on to. Yes, she may have scolded us sometimes and mad at us sometimes, but we always know that all her actions are her reactions to her love for us.

You taught me everything

And everything you've given me

I always keep it inside

You're the driving force in my life, yeah

There isn't anything

Or anyone i can be

And it just wouldn't feel right

If i didn't have you by my side

You were there for me to love and care for me

When skies were grey

Whenever i was down

You were always there to comfort me

And no one else can be what you have been to me

You'll always be you always will be the girl

In my life for all times

Mama, mama you know i love you

Oh you know i love you

Mama, mama you're the queen of my heart

Your love is like

Tears from the stars

Mama, i just want you to know

Lovin' you is like food to my soul

You're always down for me

Have always been around for me even when i was bad

You showed me right from my wrong

Yes you did

And you took up for me

When everyone was downin' me

You always did understand

You gave me strength to go on

There was so many times

Looking back when i was so afraid

And then you come to me

And say to me i can face anything

And no one else can do

What you have done for me

You'll always be

You will always be the girl in my life

Never gonna go a day without you

Fills me up just thinking about you

I'll never go a day without my mama

That's a "Song For Mama", written by Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds and performed by Boyz II Men... one of my favourite songs. Other songs which I think can suitably be dedicated to our mamas are "Because You Loved Me" (Celine Dion) and "I Turn To You" (Christina Aguillera). Both are also my favorite songs.

Well, can't wait to see mama's reaction when she receive her gift tomorrow!

Hometown Blues

I am back to my hometown after 3 months of starting my new career in KL, the big city. Of course my parents are happy to see their firstborn. My mom was saying, "You look healthy! You sure eat a lot in KL." Bummer! My younger brother and sister are also at home.

Actually, there is nothing "blues" about coming back to my hometown. It's just that, yesterday I went bowling with my officemates and "Still Got The Blues" by Gary Moore was playing in the air. I haven't heard that song for years!! It was one of my favourite songs when I was 13.

Used to be so easy to give my heart away

But I found out the hard way

There's a price you have to pay

I found out that love was no friend of mine

I should have known time

after time

So long, it was so long ago

But I've still got the blues for you

Used to be so easy to fall in love again

But I found out the hard way

It's a road that leads to pain

I found that love was more than just a game

You're playin' to win

But you lose just the same

So long, it was so long ago

But I've still got the blues for you

So many years since I've seen your face

Here in my heart, there's an empty space

Where you used to be

So long, it was so long ago

But I've still got the blues for you

Though the days come and go

There is one thing I know

I've still got the blues for you.

Reading through the lyrics, one can't help but think how love can be so cruel. Even the memories of a crushed love can make your heart hurting and bleeding like it happened only yesterday. Especially when your are reminscing the whole thing at the time when you are lonely and you are feeling the whole world is against you.

I had bad experience with love myself.

It happened last year. I don't want to do a story telling here but to cut the long story short, we broke off because he was a selfish two-timer and professional liar. He got married after 3 months we broke off. I was beyond devastated at first. But with the help of my friends, I got through the mess feeling stronger.

Honestly, I am truly over him. I already got me a new boyfriend. But there are times when I suddenly remember about my undeserving ex and can't help but think about the "what ifs" and "what nots". I am not talking about the possibility of going back to him since he is already married and he is such a bastard anyway... My point is, I still bear this anger and frustration over the break off which I have never the opportunity to tell him or confront him. I so love to spat to his face or break his arm. Clearly, I am still not in the forgiving mood.

Hahaha! I sound like a mad for revenge bitch! Actually, I am not. Like I said, it was a thinking I sometime had when I was lonely. Not that I always thought about my ex! Puhleaseeee!! I have lots of more important things to think about. But sometimes revenge can be so sweet.

Well, that's my kinda blues... Not really like Gary Moore's kinda "blues"... Hehehe!

Why don't you share your blues with me ?