29 May 2011

Counting Days...

The date is confirmed. I will be admitted at Gleneagles on 6.6.2011 and will go through the operation on 7.6.2011. If the tumor is cancerous, the doctor will remove my right ovary too. The bright side is my left ovary is still functioning.

Everyone around me does their hardest to make me stay positive. Jan has been saying yes to all of my requests so far. Going out with me, spending the time with me... I am very grateful to have such a wonderful and understanding friend. Yong lends her ears to me... well, she has been lending her ears to me since forever! I'm very glad that things have not changed between us after all these years.

In the office, everyone is very considerate. Suprisingly, my boss is the most considerate and understanding of them all! She gives me pep talk everyday so that I'll stay positive and helps me with my handover because I'll be away for maybe about two months for recovery after the operation. I feel kinda guilty because we are already short staffed and with I'm away... Well, at least we gotta know about this tumor thing when it is still stage 1 and I am not in pain or anything. Otherwise, the situation could be worst to everyone, not only me.

At home, I am still not talking to my sisters. Maybe I am being overly sensitive. Perhaps, I am being selfish and unfair... I don't know. All I know is that this time it is about me. If they cannot understand my feelings and maintain that I should understand them instead, then let them be. I already received my hugs and kisses from my mum and friends. That is enough for me.

About the operation, I am very very scared. What if I don't ever wake up after the operation? What if something goes wrong with the operation? What if the tumor is in fact cancerous? All these are playing in my mind. I know many women have gone through what I am going through and MOST of them turn out fine, but still... I can't help but worry if my other health conditions will effect the operation and my speedy recovery.

For the remaining days before the operation, I have to ensure that my blood pressure is under control. Tomorrow I have to go to Selayang Hospital to get my medicine since I cannot keep my appointment with the  nephrologist next month. I have to bring these medicine with me to Gleneagles. Then I have to prepare for the preadmission papers. I'm still waiting for the Guarantee Letters from the company. Oh, have I already mentioned that I have to do the hearing aid fitting for use at work? Yes, the CEO insists that I must use the hearing aid at work. Sigh....

I am bringing this laptop to Gleneagles... but I'm not sure if my condition after the operation will permit me using this laptop in the ward.

Til then....

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