MY LAST DAY WITH THE SUPERMODEL

Today is my last day with Crawford... not the supermodel (i'm sorry! The
title is obviously misleading!). And this last week is surely chaotic for
me! Makes me want to cry just to think about it...

As at this moment, I don't feel sad for leaving Crawford... but I am
feeling sad for leaving my kind and helpful colleagues behind... especially
the ones who are in my department... my manager, our secretary... they have
been very kind towards me...

They gave me a wonderful farewell lunch on Wednesday at Kenny Rogers,
Kotaraya.... yummy! My favourite American style dishes.

Even though I am the one who is leaving, I also want to wish them all the best
for their future...

Thanks Rani, Pat, John and En. Manaf. Also thanks to Lyana for making my
last days in Crawford a bit more easier...

On Cloud 9

I went to the pantry just now, to make some coffee. It was 5 pm... my
coffee break time.

When I was stirring my coffee, the unit head of the CMS department passed
by. She stopped the moment she saw me and she smiled at me. Well, actually
during my tenure in this company, I only talk to this unit head maybe less
than 10 times. Most of the time, we just smiled at each other.

But today she stopped and talked to me... actually congratulated me. At
first, I was confused... I mean why would she congrulating me when I am
about to leave the company in a couple of weeks time? Then she said, she is
not congratulating me because I am leaving, but because she has heard about
me getting a good job offer from one of the best companies in the insurance
industry. She told me that this means my good works are recognised by the
people and if I work harder, I can go much further.

I thanked her for her good words.

And yesterday, our new GM also had a chat with me. Actually he was trying
to get me to reconsider my decision of leaving the company. Well, I told
him that the offer I get from the new company is very generous... besides I
get to do works I am doing at the moment which I love so much. I also told
him that at this stage, it would be unfair for the new company if I tell
them now that I wanted to back off because they have already made
arrangements for me to come to work with them next month. So, in the end,
the GM told me that if I have made my decision, then he cannot do anything.
But he impressed upon me that I would always welcome to join the company
again.

It is such a great feeling when people appreciate your good works and
recognise your talent. I feel so proud of myself and I hope my family and
friends are proud of me too! I worked hard to obtained my degree and I
passed as 2nd class upper, which is a great achievement because only 10
classmates (including myself) got that far and nobody got 1st class. Then,
when I was doing my chambering, I was diagnosed with Hepatitis B and
Nephrotic Syndrome. It was hard enough for me mentally and emotionally... I
was in and out of hospital for so many times, but yet, I still managed to
complete chambering.

I started my career as a practicing lawyer in my hometown, Melaka. I was
paid only RM1,500.00 per month on my first year on the job... it was
horrible! Imagine, my friends who work in KL were getting at least
RM2,000.00 per month and I was one of the 10 people with 2nd class upper.
On my second year, I got an increased of only RM200.00, which was much too
low than the amount of works I was handling. But all the while I was told
by my boss that I was doing a great job and she is very lucky to have me.

I told my mum that if this is what I am getting after working so hard at
the university to get a degree, then I don't want to do it anymore. After that, I started looking for new jobs via the Internet. After a week looking, I got a phone call for an interview in
Kuala Lumpur. The rest is what they say... history...

I have met a lot of people during the course of my work... either as a
lawyer or as a claims administrator. Some of these people (who work with me
as my colleagues), some of them I just cannot understand. They constantly
whining about how low they are paid, how so many works they have to handle,
how their bosses always scolded them... but none of them give any ideas of
how to improve their job performance, how to reduce/avoid/rectify
mistakes... and their attitudes towards work make their bosses get more
angry towards them by the day... some even think that they are smarter than
the bosses! But still they don't realize that they are actually their own
problems... all they can see is that either they are not paid enough or too
much work are handed to them... nobody actually paid any attention to the
quality of works they delivered...

What I mean is that you cannot get anywhere if you don't have a positive
attitude towards your job. To me, job satisfaction is not only to get the
work done, but also to get a positive recognition of the work that you have
done. Only by this recognition then you can get all the good things on your
way. But you must always keep in mind that patience and hard work are the
keys to success. Some people may have to work for only a year or two before
they are recognised, and some people may take more than that before other
people see their values. But still, everything involves hard work and
determination. If you want to get there, you will get there... or shall I
say, no pain no gain!

I am very excited to start my new job next month. I can feel that new
challenges are waiting for me but I also feel that I am ready for it. I
wish I can share this excitement with someone but so far, nobody seems to
care... Never mind... At least I know that things are going positively for
me. I am wishing me the best!

Getting Old or Getting Odd?

I am having a headache at the moment. I think it's due to excessive
workload and pressure, and my foul mood because today is Monday. Arghhhh! I
hate Mondays!!!

I don't know how long I can deal with this. I have never had this kind of
headache in my entire life. Does this mean I'm getting old? I remember last
week I met my boyfriend at Berjaya Times Square. I wanted to give him the
chocolates and other souvenirs I bought for him in Langkawi. We spent about
two hours together because he has to rush off to a dinner party.

Anyways, whilst browsing some books at Borders (Yup! The most romantic
place to have a date...), he asked me to look at his moustache and pointed
at the single white hair among the black ones. Then he told me that he has
some more at the sides of his head. Yikes! He is getting older! What would
he be this year? 31? 32? Oh yeah..... 31... early 30s... no sweat... For
men, life begins at 40... For women, life begins at puberty.... eheheheheh!

By the way, I have just realized that I am developing this weird habit
since I knew my boyfriend. You see, we are of the same height... sort of...
and as you can see from his picture below, he has the moustache...
sometimes he wears a goatee... Do you know whom he reminds me of the first
time I met him? Not Humpty Dumpty ok... (Sorry, abang! ;p)

Anyone of you ever read Agatha Christie's detective novels? Who is one of
the most famous fiction detectives in the world? Hercule Poirot... Yup, the
first thing that popped into my mind the first time I met my boyfriend was
Hercule Poirot. Except that my boyfriend is not what you call a dandy, and
his head is the normal round shape... not egg-shaped...

And until today, everytime I miss him, I would grabbed an Hercule Poirot
mystery novel and read it. Don't you find that odd? And everytime a short
bespactacled man passes me, I would either smile widely or start giggling..
because they remind me of him and the memories of him lightens my heart...
What else reminds me of him?... Grey Kelisa... nasi ayam... KLCC...
Kinokuniya... hotdogs... I-pod... and wardrobes....

The other day he complained that I would put on a sour face everytime I saw
him. Actually, I wanted to explain to him that I put on the sour face
because I want to surpress my laughter... I have this urge to laugh or
giggle everytime I saw him. Odd, isn't it? Not because he's a clown or
anything... Nor was he doing anything funny... I don't even know how to
explain it to myself, so how can I explain it to him without getting his
tender heart hurt? So, my solution is to put on a sour face until the urge
to laugh has subsided. That's why I dedicated the song "My Funny Valentine"
to him...

Ok... enough about my boyfriend!

I tendered my resignation last Friday. My boss was a bit upset because I'm
jumping over to the enemies side, so to speak. But she handled it
perfectly, I think due to my frankness and honesty in this matter. I mean,
I was not trying to hide from her where I'm going. Ok... Ok... The truth
is... I was not trying to be honest to her ;p... I wanted to tell her that
I am going to this company which has extended a generous offer to me and
that's it... But, the moment I saw her face, suddenly I was incapable of
lying.. It's not that I never lied in my entire life... Of course I have...
white lies mostly... The thing is, I was caught in a situation where I
cannot lie... You get what I mean? So I ended up telling my boss that I got
an irresistable offer from the enemy and after due consideration, decided
to accept it. So, I've said it... there's no time to regret it...

Do I feel relieved after tendering my resignation? Not really... I would
definitely feel relieved after I am settled at the new office. I'm sure the
environment would be different and the workloads would be crazier! But at
least I'll be doing something I like...

So, today, I am really not in the mood on getting any jobs done... Not
because I know I am leaving this place... It's because since early last
month, I have to take over the files from my colleague who has been demoted
to a different department. My bosses don't like him because he's slow, does
not follow instructions and always in the defensive mode. When I took over
his files, I suddenly understand why they hate him... That explains the
headache I am having right now. I wish I could just throw his files into
the fire or something!

Somebody saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Welcome, 2006!!

The year 2006 has arrived! Bye bye, 2005!!

Well, what more can I say? Another year has gone by and 19 days from today, I'll be 29! Yikes! Is it true that number means nothing as long as you are happy and you know where you are going? Do you remember the lyrics to the Happy Birthday song by New Kids On The Block? "Age is just a number... don't you stop having fun..." Bah! Age is definitely NOT just a number especially when you are 29 and unmarried!!

I'd rather not explore on that subject or else, I'll end up feeling depressed and insecure...

Let's just talk about the good things.

The good thing is that I have just confirmed with this company that I am accepting their job offer and if things run as planned, I'll be joining this company by February 2006. They have offered me a very generous offer (I'll get a raise and a few allowances which I don't get from my current employer) and I am also hoping that this is going to be my stepping stone to jump up to another level. Yeay!!! So, let's just hope that everything will materialised and runs well.

I also hope that this year will be the beginning of other good things to happen/come to me. One of my wishes is that my boyfriend will spend more time with me and that our relationship will get stronger and deeper. I also hope he will make some effort to get to know me better (he never asked me what my favourite colour is, or my favourite food, movies, books and so on...). It's great to have a boyfriend but at the moment, I am not sure whether he is serious about me. Most of his actions seems to indicate otherwise. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't like to be with me or around me... that's why he doesn't spend much time with me or even have a date with me. We don't even talk as much as a real couple supposed to do. If we are not in love with each other, I don't even think we can pass as friends... more like acquaintences... There are so many things missing in our relationship... he doesn't want to share things with me... or even to trust me... He never told me about his friends or his job... He told me a little bit about his family but not enough to really know them... I would be very honoured and would have so much pleasure to hear him tell me and share with me about his dreams, his anxiety, his hopes... or even his problems at work, or problems with his friends and family... or just an everyday story of what he has been doing that day, who he met, or whether his meeting with a client succeeded... Sadly, I don't even know what are his resolutions for this year. And, as expected, he doesn't ask what mine are. That's why this is at the top of my wish list... To have a REAL relationship.