13 November 2012

The Long Silence

To those out there who care to read...

My last post was in September last year. Wow! It means I haven't updated anything in this blog for more than a year. I am now starting to question myself - why did I create this blog page if I am not using it for anything? Should I just delete my blog? I don't have that much followers anyway.

But when I think about it, I started this blog because I love to write. I know what I wrote in this blog are mostly nonsense and ramblings but still... those are my precious thoughts, my experience and my feelings. If anyone ever read what I wrote and found it useful, well that's great. But if it doesn't, I don't really care as long as I can continue writing what I want.

So what's happening in my life? Nothing significant. I still work at the same company, still single and I am currently living alone.

My youngest sister is getting married this month. My other sister gave birth last June and I am now an aunt to a super cute little baby boy, Mohamad Ghuffran Ghazi. Here is a picture of him sleeping like a boss...

Our beloved Tyson passed away a couple of months before Ghuffran was born. We were so sad, especially my mum. RIP Tyson...

My health... currently good. I hope it will stay that way. There is so much still I want to do and experience.

Like I said earlier, I live alone now. It is lonely but it is still bearable. I have my books, my TV, my laptop and my internet, so I guess I am good. I have friends to keep me company whenever I need them. I hope I am there whenever they need me.

So that's about it at the moment. Hope next time I'll write something more meaningful. Maybe write a review of the latest fictions I read.

Til then...

07 September 2011

Just Another Ramblings About Some Stuff...

Ramadhan came and went. In a blink of an eye, we have already passed the first week of Syawal. How time flies so fast when we are having fun!

I took a week off for Aidilfitri. But it was not a time to relax and laze around. I helped my mum to put on new sofa covers and put up fresh curtains for the windows. I also helped her, a little bit, with cooking. I’m not your kitchen goddess material in any event.

My mum cooked sambal kacang (grounded ground nuts with sugar, ginger and blended chillis… errrrr do not follow this recipe! I’m no kitchen goddess, remember! LOL), beef rendang and gulai ayam pencen (errr…. “retired” chicken in gravy made of coconut milk with blended spices… all I know is it’s so damn yummy!!). Unfortunately, due to some technical error by the cook (ehem… my mum!), the gulai became bad the next morning. My mum almost cried, but nothing can be done. At least we got to taste the yummy gulai ayam during dinner the night before Aidilfitri.

Except for the gulai ayam gone bad, 1st Syawal went smoothly with no drama or whatnots. We had breakfast at my grandparents’ house and then off to Hulu Langat to my other grandmother’s house. We were back at Lot10 around 4.00 p.m. By that time my aunts, uncles and cousins are all at my grandparents’ house. It was off course tiring but fun all the same. My mum was already too tired to cook anything else for them so we ordered lots of Domino’s pizza which was a hit with everybody! Yokatta!

Our doll faced Persian, Tyson, is now 10 months old but he is already as big as his dad, Rocky. He is also getting naughtier and this always makes my parents worry. He has learned how to get out of the fence and sometimes spent a long time in the small bushes near our house. It’s about time for him to get him neutered. But nobody can deny that Tyson is the spoiled child in the family.

Here's my family photo taken on Aidilfitri morning! :)



I am still getting used with living alone. Sometimes at night I worry that some strangers might break in into my apartment when I’m asleep. I surely don’t know how I can defend myself if that ever happens. A few people suggested that I should find a housemate. I don’t mind if it is somebody I already know but living in the same house with a stranger – I’m not comfortable with that. Besides, 5 days a week I get home late from work, so I wouldn’t know what she does when I’m not at home. Besides, everything in this house is mine – there will be some territorial and possession issues. Well, I’d rather live alone.

Of course it’s lonely. That is unavoidable but I do my best to entertain myself when I’m home like watch dvds, read mangas,watch tv, read books (I’ve just finished John Irving’s The Cider House Rules and currently reading Ken Follet’s Pillars of the Earth), watch animes, play facebook games/online games. There’s actually a lot of things I can do for entertainment! At the moment I don’t really mind this loneliness because after a hectic day at work, I always come back to a quiet and peaceful home which is good for me.

Remember last time I used this skincare product called Dermadex? The product was really good but I stopped using it because it’s very difficult to get the supply, plus it is really expensive (RM35.00) for a very small tube.

Since Aidilfitri, my skin became very bad with breakouts; I think it’s caused by the fatty food I’ve been taking. So, I bought this product called Hada Labo Tamagohada Facial Cleanser with AHA/BHA. It’s a Japanese product and it’s available in all Guardian store. The product helps peeling the dried old skin from my face and I notice that it also reduces the oil on my T-zone. Because of the exfoliating ingredients in this product, you have to put on sunscreen after you wash your face with it in the morning. I also use the Hada Labo Super Hyaluronic Moisturizing Lotion. All you have to do is squeeze a little bit of the lotion on your palm, work it a bit and pat it all over your face. I am not too sure about this lotion though because I think it makes my skin break out. I will stop using this lotion starting tomorrow and see what happens in the next few days.




Apart from skin problem, I have gained a lot of weight since my operation 3 months ago. I am now 63kg, the heaviest I’ve ever been in my entire life! I have never weighed more than 60kg before. I have to start dieting and do my hula hoop exercise again!

Wish me luck!!

14 August 2011

LONELY

I officially moved in to our new rented apartment in Puchong on 8.7.2011. I went back to work on 17.7.2011. Of course there was lots of things to catch up with. It's actually very tiring for me to drive back and forth between Puchong and Kuala Lumpur five times a week. But I have to endure it.

It is now Ramadhan. So far I have no problem fasting although some times I did get headaches in the evening, but I never skip fasting.

Last week Adik, my youngest sister who lived with me, was informed by her employer that she would be transferred to Kuantan. After an appeal, she is sent to Skudai instead, which is nearer to her big brother in Gelang Patah and her boyfriend in Mersing. She left last Friday. I'm still very sad for having to let her go. And today, it really hits me that I am now living alone and on my own.

It really is very lonely. There's nobody to talk to. Although the TV is loud and showing my favourite shows, the house still feels empty. I fell asleep around 2.00 p.m. and woke up at 4.30 p.m. today. Do you know how it feels like waking up alone?

I've been thinking about what will happen if I get sick when I'm alone in this house. It really scares me. What if one night I fall asleep and doesn't wake up. Will someone notice I'm missing? What will happen to my parents after I'm gone?

After the operation, I think I am becoming more accepting about my health condition. I wonder if I will live long enough to celebrate my 40th birthday. If I have provided enough for my parents if I'm gone? This sounds very negative and not optimistic. I think the loneliness really hits me.

Ok lets talk about happy stuff. My boss allowed my application for a week off to celebrate Hari Raya. Yeay! Adik will be engaged to her boyfriend on 25th Dec... insya Allah. And the wedding will most probably be next year. Another sibling will start her own family soon!

And there will be a possible trip to Phuket this year. Although it is actually for work, I still look forward to it! And I heard from the grapevines that the CEO has finally approved this year's company trip. Yeay!

At the very least, my live is still colourful right? And I still have friends whom I can rely upon. Alhamdulillah :)


21 June 2011

Recovering...

For all of you good people out there, just wanna let you know that the operation went well.

I checked in at Gleneagles Hospital on 6.6.2011, had my operation on 7.6.2011 and was discharged on 11.6.2011. Dr Aziz removed the tumor as well as my right ovary. According to him, my right ovary was badly damaged by the tumor. The good thing is my left ovary is normal and functional.

I went for follow up check up with Dr Aziz on 18.6.2011. He told me the result of the biopsy on the tumor. Alhamdulillah... it's not cancerous! The scary thing was the tumor had hairs, it owm sweat gland and thyroid follicle! Sounds like another creature had been living in my body all this while! Dr Aziz gave me a copy of the picture of the tumor, unfortunately I don't have a scanner.

The stitches was removed on the same day and I am currently at Lot10... recovering. The wound is healing nicely but I don't know about the wound inside my body... which I hope is recovering nicely too. I have my first period yesterday after the op and oh my God yesterday was so painful! I've never had painful period pains and cramps before and yesterday was like hell to me. I had to lie down the whole day and the paind didn't go away even after I took the painkillers. Fortunately, the pain was only for one day. I am fine today. Phew!!!

The pain was because of the operation wound at the fallopian tube where Dr Aziz had removed my ovary. The contraction during menstrual caused pain in that area. I hope this is not something I have to suffer every month!!

So I am resting at Lot10, my parents home. Watching Korean DVDs with my mum, eating, reading, playing with Tyson, playing Cityville on Facebook... such bliss... I have yet to be bored with this routine yet. LOL.

Anyway, this whole circumstances makes me realise who my real friends are. I now know who are the people that really cares about me and who don't. And who thinks of me even though they can't be with me. I will cherish these friends forever for they are my real friends :) I vow that I will be there for them too, if not in person, in thoughts.... and I vow that I will appreciate them as long as I live :)

06 June 2011

The Big Day is Almost Here...

I am finally admitted to Gleneagles today... they give me the single exec room. Thank God for that! At least some privacy for me and for my family and friends!

I was told by the nurses that my operation tomorrow will be after 12.30pm. Apperently Dr Aziz has other patients to operate on before me. So I have to wait for my turn. I will start fasting from 7 am tomorrow and the nurses will also make necessary preps on me before the operation.

My bestfriends - Jan, Aya, Liza and Laila all came visit me today. I'm so gald for that! Kept me from thinking about what will happen tomorrow. And my mum is keeping me company right now. So grateful for that too! My dad and sisters will also come again tomorrow.

Well... right now there's nothing else to say or do but to pray to God that all will turn out fine and well tomorrow and that operation will be smooth. Amin!

Wish me luck! :)

29 May 2011

Counting Days...

The date is confirmed. I will be admitted at Gleneagles on 6.6.2011 and will go through the operation on 7.6.2011. If the tumor is cancerous, the doctor will remove my right ovary too. The bright side is my left ovary is still functioning.

Everyone around me does their hardest to make me stay positive. Jan has been saying yes to all of my requests so far. Going out with me, spending the time with me... I am very grateful to have such a wonderful and understanding friend. Yong lends her ears to me... well, she has been lending her ears to me since forever! I'm very glad that things have not changed between us after all these years.

In the office, everyone is very considerate. Suprisingly, my boss is the most considerate and understanding of them all! She gives me pep talk everyday so that I'll stay positive and helps me with my handover because I'll be away for maybe about two months for recovery after the operation. I feel kinda guilty because we are already short staffed and with I'm away... Well, at least we gotta know about this tumor thing when it is still stage 1 and I am not in pain or anything. Otherwise, the situation could be worst to everyone, not only me.

At home, I am still not talking to my sisters. Maybe I am being overly sensitive. Perhaps, I am being selfish and unfair... I don't know. All I know is that this time it is about me. If they cannot understand my feelings and maintain that I should understand them instead, then let them be. I already received my hugs and kisses from my mum and friends. That is enough for me.

About the operation, I am very very scared. What if I don't ever wake up after the operation? What if something goes wrong with the operation? What if the tumor is in fact cancerous? All these are playing in my mind. I know many women have gone through what I am going through and MOST of them turn out fine, but still... I can't help but worry if my other health conditions will effect the operation and my speedy recovery.

For the remaining days before the operation, I have to ensure that my blood pressure is under control. Tomorrow I have to go to Selayang Hospital to get my medicine since I cannot keep my appointment with the  nephrologist next month. I have to bring these medicine with me to Gleneagles. Then I have to prepare for the preadmission papers. I'm still waiting for the Guarantee Letters from the company. Oh, have I already mentioned that I have to do the hearing aid fitting for use at work? Yes, the CEO insists that I must use the hearing aid at work. Sigh....

I am bringing this laptop to Gleneagles... but I'm not sure if my condition after the operation will permit me using this laptop in the ward.

Til then....

26 May 2011

Just Another Rambling... Perhaps?

I don't know how to begin this.

I haven't even updated this space for such a long time. Many things happened, is happening and will be happenning. My life is such a mess at the moment. If my life is a movie, there's so much dramas in it. But thank God I am still in one piece.

I have a tumour at my right ovary, just near the bladder and it might be cancerous. The doctor has confirmed that I need urgent surgery to remove it.

No, this is not a joke. It's not a movie either. This is my reality, dear reader.
I'm trying to stay positive and be brave.

Well, many women experienced this sort of thing and they all turn out fine. I'll be alright too right?

By the way, a few weeks before I found out about the tumour, I went to the ENT specialist and he confirmed my hearing loss. Luckily, I don't really need any hearing aid.

In the meantime, my Hepatitis B and nephrotic syndrome are not cured yet.

Really... I am trying very very hard to cope with all these...
I can't even explain to you what's going on in my head and in my mind.
I told my sisters about my condition tonight. Very calm reaction and one of them changed the subject after not even 5 minutes of discussion. How am I supposed to feel inside? And then she apologised... Via bbm... How cool is that? She said both of them are actually sad but they don't want to show it to me for fear that I'll be upset. She said she hopes I understand. She asked me to understand :( Why can't she try to understand me instead? Is it so hard to share my sadness and my tears? If we can laugh together, can't we cry together too!

I'm not sure if right now I'm being selfish, or if I'm just too sad about all this. Honestly speaking I'm just a total mess.
I can't sleep right now. I can't go out either. It's too late in the night. My head really hurts and my eyes keep leaking water. Am I crying? What for? This is just a trivial thing right? This is going to end up with joy and happiness right? I'll be okay in the end right?

I hope tomorrow will be better for me... Owh... It's already tomorrow...

19 April 2011

Long Time, No See

I've just realised that my last post was in October 2010! I haven't even greeted everyone with Happy New Year! Sumimasen!!!!

Honestly, so many things have happened... and as usual so little time to spent for myself.

My sister got married in November last year. The wedding was grand, so beautiful!!! And I am so proud to be a part of the behind the scene people. To me, it's like a wedding dream come true! I wish I could have a wedding as grand and as beautiful as my sister's one day!

My cousin got married last month. Well, there's a story behind the wedding but I don't think I'm in the mood to write about it. Actually, it will be a waste of my energy and time to write about it.

Ohhh!!! I almost forgot the most exciting news! Our little family has extended. We now have Tyson, a persian kitten I bought from my aunt. He is now almost 5 months old and he is already bigger than Coko if Coko is still alive! Tyson currently lives with my parents. They dots on him, pamper him and spoil him to the max! But that's okay because Tyson deserves every drop of love we have in our hearts! Lol! He is so well mannered and so playful at the same time.

Work? Well, let's just say that I no longer enjoy going to work every morning and at work, I always can't wait to go home. That's the sign that I should quit the job and find a new one, right? It's my plan for this year. To leave the company and find a new job. I need a new challenge, a fresh breathe of air! I am bored doing claims!!!

I am also thinking whether I should brush up my writing skill and live as an author full time? Pffttt!!! Author??? I don't even have a short story published anywhere!!! Lol! Maybe I should start by posting my short stories here. That reminds me of my online "novel" Hujan Pagi. What the hell happened to it? Sigh!!! I just don't have the time to do some serious story writing... but my head is so full of story ideas!! All I need to do is put them into paper in a readable format.

The problem is when can I find the time to do it? I know that I can start here... Sigh!!!

I'll give it some more thought.

22 October 2010

FRIDAY MAYDAY

My boss is on leave today. She's flied to Singapore to attend a wedding and will only get back to work next week on Tuesday. So today until Tuesday, it's just me and the girls..... and Faiz, the only homo sapien with xy chromosome in our office.

And today is Friday. I am through the 2nd day of my monthly menstrual. And I eat a lot because of the hormone changes in my body. Thanks to Dermedex, I don't have any breakouts this time around, but I am feeling hungry all the time. The girls and I went to Pak Li for lunch today... and guess what I had for lunch? One black pepper chicken chop with fries on the side, followed by 2 half boiled eggs and garlic bread. The skin on my stomach is literally stretching right now. Urghhhh!!! And for the past few days people had been saying that I've lost weight! Extra hula hoop exercise from now on!!!

Anyway, I can't believe that we are nearing the end of the month of October. After the next two months, we will be celebrating the new year again. It's always true how time waits for no man. I feel like I haven't accomplish anything this year. No boyfriend, no new short story, no new chapter of the novel I am trying to write.... It's only work work work... Damn! I need a life!

Oh but I did get my heavenly holiday in Tawau. Ahhh... but that's the only best thing I did this year. Well, at least I got something, right? I hope I could go to more holidays next year... if only the work does not tie my hands and feet.

By the way, my sister's wedding is next month. I haven't bought my dress according to the wedding's theme colour yet. I don't know when I'm going to do it. It's pink! It's a lovely colour but not a favourite on my body. Anyway, what can I do... the bride chose that colour so I have to oblige. I've tried something in purple last week but it just doesn't work on me. Sigh!

Ah... Friday is supposed to be the day when you should be rejoicing and yahooing since it's the final day of the week before you go on a 2 days break. But what am I sighing and whining for? Well, I still have to go to work tomorrow, so it means I only have a day break this weekend. Secondly, although I come in on Saturdays to work, my work is still not ending... I want to go on a date with a super good looking guy who earns a 5-digit monthly salary!!!

Dream on, Ms D! At least dreaming is free :)

08 October 2010

Crush

I haven't had a crush since a verrryyyyyyyyyyyy long time. I meant a real crush, not the celebrity crush that I have on a daily basis.

Anyways, last night I attended a 25th anniversary dinner of a legal firm in a 5 star hotel in KL. One of the senior partners in this firm is very good looking. I first met him when I was still working with Crawford and that was back in year 2005. Last night he looked like he doesn't aged a bit. Still good looking and so delicious to look at. I have to admit that some notty thoughts came across my mind when I was oogling and drooling over him last night.

But being the nice girl that I am (ehem... ehem!), I did not take it that far. He is married anyway and I don't know how to flirt. LOL! Am I THAT naive???

Anyway, he was the talk between my colleagues and I for the whole night last night and until this morning. It's official that he is our current crush, but as you know, a crush is not really a serious feeling. So I guess when I see the next good looking guy today or tomorrow, I'll have a crush on him too! But I have to admit that it was fun having a crush. I mean, since it is not a serious feeling, you won't get broken hearted and you'll move on easily. It's that simple and clean!

Since we are on this subject, a few days ago a posted my Facebook status as "... maybe I should start considering dating younger guys...". Guess what? A lot of friends commented and they told me to just go for it. One of my friends even said, "Cougar is in!" What is actually a "cougar"? My so called research (i.e. googling and wikipedia) reveals that cougar is an animal from the large cats species. "Cougar" also refers to the term commonly applied to women who are thirty or older and pursue younger men. Since I am "thirty or older", I'll be a cougar if I pursue younger men. Is that cool?

My problem is that I find it difficult to fall in love with younger men (except celebrity of course!). I got a little bit put off the moment I realise that a guy is younger than me. I don't know why. But I think it is only my psychological reaction - feeling old, insecure, etc. But I have friends who married guys younger than them and have no problem in their relationships. So I guess it is not a bad idea after all. The only thing to do is to be mentally and psychologically prepared. After that, to be in my cougar mode and hunt for those delicious, sweet and unsuspecting younger guy. Muahahaha! I sound like a perv.

Okay enough already. Get back to work, Ms D!

07 October 2010

Pimple o Pimple Part 2

I know... I know...
I'm supposed to post my current picture for the Dermedex challenge and I still haven't got around to do it yet. But I am pleased to report that Dermedex works well. Now I just need to concentrate on getting rid the pimple scars. I will post the current picture of me (make up free of course) very soon!

On hula hoop challenge, I have received comments from colleagues lately that I have slimmed down. Way to go, Ms D! I will continue the hula hoop challenge and will try to slim down more. But I haven't weigh myself yet, so I'm not sure whether I have lost some weight also. Before I started hula hoop, my weight was 70kg. Yikes! That's the heaviest I have ever been! And to think that I used to weigh less than 55kg... Sigh!!!

Anyway, I'm at the office at the moment and lunch time is almost finish. Wish I could write more but this is it for the moment.

Until next time!

21 September 2010

Ooh La La La Hula Hoop!

I bought a hula hoop from Toys R Us last week. I thought it would be a fun exercise tool since I'm very lazy at exercising. And it is FUN!

Been using it twice now. The first time around, I couldn't get the hoop to spin longer than 30 seconds around my waist. But today I could make it swing more than 5 minutes. Practice makes perfect! Since it is so easy and fun to do, I'm determined to make hula hoop as my daily exercise. I remember when I was in primary school, I love playing with the hula hoop during recess. My friends and I would compete who could hula hoop the longest. That time, our school's hula hoops were made of rattan. The one I have now is made of plastic, with something inside it as weight, with shiny golden decorations. Maybe sometimes I can pretend that I'm Faiznur Miskin or Farahani Imran. LOL!

So, I'm starting a Dermedex challenge to fight the pimples off of my face and a hula hoop challenge to fight the fat off of my body. Fight-oh!!

19 September 2010

Pimples o Pimples!!

In July, I went on a 5 days 4 nights trip to Mabul Island in Sabah with Aya. Despite the dramas, it was a great trip. Mabul is truly a beautiful island and the snorkeling trip at Sipadan was an amazing experience. I hope I could go there again.

Since then, I've been having serious acne problem. I don't really know the cause but this is really a big concern for me. Well, who likes having pimples anyway? I am already stressed with work and this pimple issue is not helping me at the moment. On top of that, my sister is getting married in November and I want to look my best at the wedding too. Why is this happening to me now? I really really need a quick solution!! These pimples must be annihilated now!!! Go away from my face!!!

Anyway, the beautician who works at my aunt's beauty salon suggests this product to me. It is called Dermedex. I did a little bit of research from the internet and discovered that it is supposed to give me a miraculous product. So, I've bought from her a Challenge Pack and today is my second day using this product. No visible results as yet. Here's what my face looks like right now:-

Yeah, this is me in my most unflattering pose ever and I'm posting this image on the net. And look at my skin. It's awful!! So today is the start of my Dermedex challenge. According to the beautician, I'm supposed to get a satisfying results within a week. So, next week I'll post the latest picture of me and we can judge for ourselves whether Dermedex does work!

By the way, when I took this pic, I was on the phone with my mum. She was talking about a guy who she wanted to matchmake me. The funny thing, she's never even met the guy! Well, that's another story... and only if that guy contact me!

10 May 2010

This Is An Update

I haven't updated this blog for such a long time already. I love writing and telling stories, somehow I just couldn't find the time to do it. My Hujan Panas project is currently on hold; I couldn't find the time to continue and my imagination as an author (if I could call myself that) is blocked. I don't know when I will write the story again.


Anyway, so much has happened since my last update. Echelon has moved in into a new office space (but we are still in the same building), we have old staff left and new staff joined, my short-termed obsession with Boys Over Flower (Korean Version) and its lead actor Lee Min Ho, my renewed obsession with Wheesung, my brother's minor operation on his left shoulder, my landlord sold his apartment and gave me two months notice to leave, looking for new apartment for rent in Puchong and Subang Jaya, found a new apartment in USJ19, etc. As far as my love life goes, nothing changes. I am still single, but not so sure if I want to make myself available though.

So, my sisters and I are going to move in to our new abode at the end of this month. At the moment, we are not yet feeling the excitement of moving into a new place. Nevertheless, I like the new place although it's quite far from KL which means that I have to wake up extra early to go to work and will be home later. But it's fine by me. It's just a matter of discipline and following the routine.

Whilst still looking for a new place, I realised that it's about time for me to get my own home sweet home. I can't keep renting a place forever. I've discussed with my mum and surprisingly, she agreed with me. Last year when I brought this subject up, she was so opposed to the idea and kept telling me that it's my husband's duty to buy a house for me. I guess she changed her mind after she realised that I still can't find a husband who can buy me a house. My point is finally taken.

I am currently planning a holiday with Aya. We already have our return tickets to Tawau, Sabah. Now to find a place to stay in Mabul Island for 4 nights. I want to try the diving package for non-diver. Since Aya already got her PADI licence, I think I should be safe when I join this activity. Who knows... maybe after I try it I will like it so much and will get my own diving licence.

Since I'm writing this update at 7.00pm on a Monday night, my brain is kinda blocked by the Monday blues. When I started this update, I thought I had a lot of things to write about. But this is the best I can come out with. Something with no substance... purely about me me me! Ahahah! Who cares. Click to the next blogroll if you don't like what you read here.

I am currently reading "The School of Essential Ingredients" by Erica Bauermeister. I bought it yesterday. Perhaps, I should write a review on this book in my next update to give more subtance, more meaning (whateverthehellitis!) to my blog. And I am currently listening to Wheesung's "With All My Heart and Soul" mini album; it's packed with R&B and Soul melodies so of course my heart is captured. Not to mention that I am already in love with Wheesung and his voice. Anyway, he's not the only guy I'm in love with so I'm using the term "I'm in love with" rather loosely. In any event all these guys I'm in love with are not in love with me. Plus they don't know me. And all of them live outside of Malaysia. And some of them are already taken. No, don't tell me I'm pathetic. That hurts, you know.

That's why I desperately need a vacation....

02 February 2010

Lessons Learnt

33 years of life has taught me a bunch of things. Nevertheless, I am still learning because life is like a big university which you cannot graduate. There's always some things to discover, to learn and to experience. Everyday is an examination but you won't be graded. Your reward is happiness and satisfaction. Your gratitude is only to Allah swt. That's what I think.

These are some of things I've learnt, through my own experience and also through what I've seen other people has gone through:-
  1. Don't give your love 100% to others, save some for yourself.
  2. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Words said cannot be unsaid.
  3. No matter how much you hate a person, don't treat him/her badly because what goes around comes around. Just avoid them.
  4. Don't make promises you can't keep. Be careful when you make promises because people hopes and expects.
  5. You must be honest in every thing you do, especially when you messed something up. If you are dishonest as to why you messed up, you are heading for doom.
  6. Be a good daughter/son. You life is blessed if you make your parents happy.
  7. You can have as many friends as you like but you can only have a few people to call bestfriends. Friendship is not defined by how often you keep in touch or how many treats you get/give. Bestfriend is someone who needs you when he/she is down and whom you need when you are down.
  8. Loyalty and trust are the most important things in a relationship. You can have love but you can't have a happy love without these two.
  9. It's hard to say I'm sorry but it is easy to forget after you apologise. Sometimes it is easy to forgive but it is always hard to forget even after you let off.
  10. Secrets are always meant to be kept because the truth always hurt.
  11. Don't judge or even pretend to understand other people unless you have lived his/her life.
  12. It is easy to criticise but it is always hard to accept one.
  13. Don't let your heart rule your head. Never let your lust rule your head!
  14. Probably an advice is only meant to be sought and given because people don't always follow when you give one.
  15. If you are not happy with something, why go through with it? Don't unnecessarily put yourself in an unhappy situation. Don't unnecessarily complicate your life!
  16. You can't help it if other people hate you but always try to give a good impression.
Those are some of the things I've learnt so far, but subject to revision based on what I will go through or discover in the future. Did we learnt the same things? Feel free to compare notes with me.

27 January 2010

Consideration

The number is 33 and the word is solo. That's me as at 27.1.2010.

I celebrated my birthday with colleagues and friends. But all was quiet and unexciting at home. I remembered the treasure hunt I did for Adik last year. That was fun. Oh well. Maybe I am considered too old to be celebrated. At least my friends and colleagues do not think so. I want to make it clear that I don't need parties and cakes and lots of presents. A loving kiss on the cheek or a warm hug will do. I just need an assurance that I'm still loved at 33.

So what does that mean getting older? I'm not really sure how to answer that. All I know is my age is increased by one more number and with that comes more pressure. You know... the usual issues... no boyfriend, not married and all that stuff.

But don't get me wrong. I don't need any sympathy. Please don't insult my feelings with that. All I need is an understanding. Ooopppss! No, definitely not understanding because nobody could understand me unless they are me. All I need is consideration. Please consider me. I need your kind consideration. Your kind consideration shall be much appreciated. Your kind consideration would enable me to go through this life easier.

I know I'm kinda scribbling nonsense here, but actually I am not. I think I have already reached my limit. I think 33 is the limit. Don't go over 33. Only 33 and below is allowed. God, I'm so stressed today! I'm so down today! I'm so sad today...

So, the number is 33 and the word is solo. I am solo and my younger sister will get married this December. And she wants me to be her "pengapit". I can imagine the spinster me playing lady in waiting for the beautiful younger bride. But don't misjudge me. I have considered. She's my sister and I love her. I don't even have the heart to tell her no. And I am happy that she is getting married. But I wonder if she has considered me. I am the unconsidered unmarried older sister and I will be cast at the corner, fanning the bride, while she is being glorified in the limelight. Please don't put me there.

I sound selfish. Do I sound selfish? Once in a while, I want that privilege to be selfish. Once in a while, I want to be considered. That's my birthday wish this year. Dear God, please grant me that.

I am out of positive energy today. Friends, please lend me some....

19 January 2010

Happy Birthday, Ms DM!

Today is my birthday... my 33rd actually...

Sigh...

I'll write something about it after I come to terms with the fact that I am now a year older...

On a happier note, this is what I get for my bday today. Yippeee!!!!

14 January 2010

Ms DM's Foodelicious presents OOH CHA

I love to eat but I am not what you called a "food enthusiast". My only specialty is the ability to differentiate between a good meal, a not so good meal and a great meal. Most of the time I forgot the name of that great restaurant I went to and the name of that great meal I just ate. The worst thing is that I tend to forget the name of the restaurant that served the not so good meal, which means that there is a chance that I'll go there again!

Anyway, I think talking about food would help me sharpen my writing skill. Think about the culinary jargons that I have to use! In addition, I get to write down about my culinary experience, be it cooking or eating (believe me it will all be about eating instead of cooking!!), so that I won't forget all about it. The best thing is that I could share my experience with you.

Whatever it is that I will write about food will not even come close to Julie Powell's "The Julie/Julia Project", but at least I am making some efforts here. So here goes my first attempt writing about food:-

The company I am working with is situated at Jalan Sultan Ismail. The building is right between Jalan Raja Abdullah, Jalan Doraisamy and Jalan Yap Ah Shak, the place where you can find the famous heritage rows. There are lots of restaurants here. But the one I want to write about is a Thai restaurant called Ooh Cha.

Ooh Cha is located at Jalan Yap Ah Shak, across Maison. It has opened quite some time ago but I visited it for the first time with my colleagues last Friday.

When I first stepped into Ooh Cha, I was quite taken with its interior design which is mostly in ivory, copper and brass with lots of ethnic ornaments that can be easily associated with Siam. Since there were 6 of us, my colleagues and I were ushered to the top floor which is air-conditioned and could cater large groups. From the menu, we discovered Ooh Cha could also cater for business and private functions.

The pictures in the menu all looked yummy. But because it was our first time at Ooh Cha, we decided to try their lunch set first. As starters, we ordered the Thai spring rolls, fried shrimps rolled in popiah and also chicken pieces wrapped in leaves (sorry I can't recall the exact names of the dishes and in what leaves the chicken pieces were wrapped in). One thing for sure, I cannot forget how delicious the starters were! And each of these delicious starter (except for the wrapped chicken) was served with pickled cucumber and salad that made the food tasted even better!

I ordered fried tom yam mee. My colleagues ordered fried rice with shrimp, tomyam meehoon, beef noodle soup and white rice with beef paprik. I wish I had taken pictures of all the dishes we ordered. I tasted each and every dishes and boy! they made my taste bud fell in love. The tomyam was superb! And instead of tiny chunks of ingredients, you would find generous amount of beef, chicken and shrimp in your tomyam soup.

Even my fried tomyam mee tasted wonderful! The dish may look like your typical mee goreng but the taste is definitely not typical. I could taste the tomyam in the fried mee but not so much, with shrimps and slices of squid and chicken for me to devour. On top of that, the serving was quite generous and I finished my meal with a full tummy and a satisfied heart.

We didn't try any of the desserts though. But from the pictures in the menu, everything looks delicious. I wish I had room in my stomach to try their sticky rice with mango. Well, there's always another time. After all, Ooh Cha is only a walking distance away!

All this while, I thought Flying Chillies served the best tom yam cuisine in KL. Ooh Cha has changed my mind and I'll definitely go there again. Plus, the price at Ooh Cha is reasonable.

For all Thai cuisine lovers out there, you guys should try this place!

12 January 2010

Ms DM's Music Box presents UTADA

I bought Utada latest English album last weekend. Yeah yeah I know the album came up last year but I had the knack to buy it only last week. I don't know why. Probably because the price was cheap (it was on sale for RM29.90) or maybe because I wanted to know what the album sounds like. The only song from that album which I'm familiar with is Baby Come Back To Me because it got decent airtime in our local radio last year.


Utada Hikaru is an American Japanese who has produced many albums in Japan and is known as one of the most popular artiste in that country. Before this, I had known Utada simply as a Japanese artiste until I watched Hana Yori Dongo season 2 last year because the show used Utada's song "Flavor of Life" as its main soundtrack. I was so in love with the song and started to listen to other songs by Utada such as "Simple and Clean", "Sanctuary" (both songs from "Kingdom Hearts" soundtrack), "Addicted to You", "Can You Keep a Secret" (from "Hero" soundtrack), etc. That was also when I started to read more about Utada and found that her first Japanese album "First Love" had sold 10 million copies worldwide and the digital sales of "Flavour of Life" had reached more than 8 million copies the last time I checked.

Unfortunately, Utada is not doing that well with her English albums. Her latest English album, the one I bought is called "This Is the One" which is produced under Island Def Jam label. One of the producers is LA Reid. For those of you young ones out there, Antonio "LA" Reid was "THE" producer during the 1990s and a Grammy Award winning producer/songwriter. He was half of LaFace Records, the other half was Babyface (if you don't know who Babyface is, go shoot yourself!). The LaFace team had produced for artistes such as Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Toni Braxton etc and Reid was the one who brought the then unknown Avril Lavigne to fame.

So, with someone like LA Reid to back her up, I am sure Utada will no longer struggle in the international music scene. I have heard her songs in "This Is the One" and I can assure you that Utada's music is definitely not the typical bubly J-Pop and she has a voice that could melt you. If I am asked to describe Utada's brand of music in one word, I would say "passionate" because that's what I feel everytime I hear her songs. But do not mistake Utada as a ballad singing J-pop star. She has songs that could make you want to move your body with the rythm.

Utada will start her official US Tour this month with a kick off concert in Honolulu, Hawaii this 15th. I hope I could be there!

Anyway, you can go to Utada's official website for more about her and also a sample of her music.

Below is the lyrics of my most favourite song from Utada's "This Is the One" album:-

Apple and Cinnamon - Utada

Tell me what is on your mind
Help me because I'd like to know
What the hell is going on
Never thought I'd sing this song


Lets not get started with
The he said she said
Sometimes it just doesn't go as planned (x2)


Started out so simple and innocent
So simple and innocent (x3)


Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
Like apple and cinnamon (x3)


I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love
And everybody used to be so envious of us


Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
What we had was just to good, good to last


Happiness don't last that long
What we had was beautiful


Lets not get started with
The he said she said
Sometimes it just doesn't go as planned (x2)


Started out so simple and innocent
So simple and innocent (x3)


Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
Like apple and cinnamon (x3)


I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love
And everybody used to be so envious of us


Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
What we had was just to good, good to last


Please don't look at me like that
Please don't look at me, don't look at me like that
You can't look at me like that
Please don't look at me, don't look at me like that


I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love
And everybody used to be so envious of us


Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
What we had was just to good


Started out so simple and innocent
So simple and innocent(x3)


Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
Like apple and cinnamon (x3)


I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love
And everybody used to be so envious of us


Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
What we had was just to good, good to last



11 January 2010

The Avatar Imaginarium of Holmes & Watson

So my bestfriend is currently head over heels and drooling over Jake Sully, the main character and hero, of Avatar. I am not worrying (no reason actually!) because that is typical of Jan and I'm sure she'll remove her attention once another obsession comes along. That's my daisy! :)

Anyway, I too am awed by Avatar. The last time I felt that way was when I saw Gandalf mounted Shadowfax and led the horseback soldiers towards the Black Gate. It was super duper awesome! Avatar 3D is just superb! Can't wait for the sequels!

The news from the grapevine is that they have already started casting for the sequel and from what I've read in the internet, the story may go deeper into the planet Pandora. Well, we'll just have to wait and see!

Another awesome movie I watched last month was Sherlock Holmes. Man! Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law are simply delicious as Holmes and Watson. For the first time in my life, I see Holmes as a rugged hunk and not as a gentlemanly sleuth with pipe and deerstalker hat. I am hoping that Guy Ritchie and Warner Bros will make a sequel of this one too. They have to!

But do not bother to watch the Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus. I think I survived the movie until the end just because of Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp and Jude Law. The movie itself is 1 out of 10. Aya fell asleep twice during the movie and the rest of us just couldn't make out the moral of the story. Well... I guess there was no moral to the story.

That's all folks! Until next time!