Lessons Learnt

33 years of life has taught me a bunch of things. Nevertheless, I am still learning because life is like a big university which you cannot graduate. There's always some things to discover, to learn and to experience. Everyday is an examination but you won't be graded. Your reward is happiness and satisfaction. Your gratitude is only to Allah swt. That's what I think.

These are some of things I've learnt, through my own experience and also through what I've seen other people has gone through:-

1. Don't give your love 100% to others, save some for yourself.
2. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Words said cannot be unsaid.
3. No matter how much you hate a person, don't treat him/her badly because what goes around comes around. Just avoid them.
4. Don't make promises you can't keep. Be careful when you make promises because people hopes and expects.
5. You must be honest in every thing you do, especially when you messed something up. If you are dishonest as to why you messed up, you are heading for doom.
6. Be a good daughter/son. You life is blessed if you make your parents happy.
7. You can have as many friends as you like but you can only have a few people to call bestfriends. Friendship is not defined by how often you keep in touch or how many treats you get/give. Bestfriend is someone who needs you when he/she is down and whom you need when you are down.
8. Loyalty and trust are the most important things in a relationship. You can have love but you can't have a happy love without these two.
9. It's hard to say I'm sorry but it is easy to forget after you apologise. Sometimes it is easy to forgive but it is always hard to forget even after you let off.
10. Secrets are always meant to be kept because the truth always hurt.
11. Don't judge or even pretend to understand other people unless you have lived his/her life.
12. It is easy to criticise but it is always hard to accept one.
13. Don't let your heart rule your head. Never let your lust rule your head!
14. Probably an advice is only meant to be sought and given because people don't always follow when you give one.
15. If you are not happy with something, why go through with it? Don't unnecessarily put yourself in an unhappy situation. Don't unnecessarily complicate your life!
16. You can't help it if other people hate you but always try to give a good impression.

Those are some of the things I've learnt so far, but subject to revision based on what I will go through or discover in the future. Did we learnt the same things? Feel free to compare notes with me.

Consideration

The number is 33 and the word is solo. That's me as at 27.1.2010.

I celebrated my birthday with colleagues and friends. But all was quiet and unexciting at home. I remembered the treasure hunt I did for Adik last year. That was fun. Oh well. Maybe I am considered too old to be celebrated. At least my friends and colleagues do not think so. I want to make it clear that I don't need parties and cakes and lots of presents. A loving kiss on the cheek or a warm hug will do. I just need an assurance that I'm still loved at 33.

So what does that mean getting older? I'm not really sure how to answer that. All I know is my age is increased by one more number and with that comes more pressure. You know... the usual issues... no boyfriend, not married and all that stuff.

But don't get me wrong. I don't need any sympathy. Please don't insult my feelings with that. All I need is an understanding. Ooopppss! No, definitely not understanding because nobody could understand me unless they are me. All I need is consideration. Please consider me. I need your kind consideration. Your kind consideration shall be much appreciated. Your kind consideration would enable me to go through this life easier.

I know I'm kinda scribbling nonsense here, but actually I am not. I think I have already reached my limit. I think 33 is the limit. Don't go over 33. Only 33 and below is allowed. God, I'm so stressed today! I'm so down today! I'm so sad today...

So, the number is 33 and the word is solo. I am solo and my younger sister will get married this December. And she wants me to be her "pengapit". I can imagine the spinster me playing lady in waiting for the beautiful younger bride. But don't misjudge me. I have considered. She's my sister and I love her. I don't even have the heart to tell her no. And I am happy that she is getting married. But I wonder if she has considered me. I am the unconsidered unmarried older sister and I will be cast at the corner, fanning the bride, while she is being glorified in the limelight. Please don't put me there.

I sound selfish. Do I sound selfish? Once in a while, I want that privilege to be selfish. Once in a while, I want to be considered. That's my birthday wish this year. Dear God, please grant me that.

I am out of positive energy today. Friends, please lend me some....

Happy Birthday, Ms DM!

Today is my birthday... my 33rd actually...

Sigh...

I'll write something about it after I come to terms with the fact that I am now a year older...

On a happier note, this is what I get for my bday today. Yippeee!!!!

Ms DM's Foodelicious presents OOH CHA

I love to eat but I am not what you called a "food enthusiast". My only specialty is the ability to differentiate between a good meal, a not so good meal and a great meal. Most of the time I forgot the name of that great restaurant I went to and the name of that great meal I just ate. The worst thing is that I tend to forget the name of the restaurant that served the not so good meal, which means that there is a chance that I'll go there again!

Anyway, I think talking about food would help me sharpen my writing skill. Think about the culinary jargons that I have to use! In addition, I get to write down about my culinary experience, be it cooking or eating (believe me it will all be about eating instead of cooking!!), so that I won't forget all about it. The best thing is that I could share my experience with you.

Whatever it is that I will write about food will not even come close to Julie Powell's "The Julie/Julia Project", but at least I am making some efforts here. So here goes my first attempt writing about food:-

The company I am working with is situated at Jalan Sultan Ismail. The building is right between Jalan Raja Abdullah, Jalan Doraisamy and Jalan Yap Ah Shak, the place where you can find the famous heritage rows. There are lots of restaurants here. But the one I want to write about is a Thai restaurant called Ooh Cha.

Ooh Cha is located at Jalan Yap Ah Shak, across Maison. It has opened quite some time ago but I visited it for the first time with my colleagues last Friday.

When I first stepped into Ooh Cha, I was quite taken with its interior design which is mostly in ivory, copper and brass with lots of ethnic ornaments that can be easily associated with Siam. Since there were 6 of us, my colleagues and I were ushered to the top floor which is air-conditioned and could cater large groups. From the menu, we discovered Ooh Cha could also cater for business and private functions.

The pictures in the menu all looked yummy. But because it was our first time at Ooh Cha, we decided to try their lunch set first. As starters, we ordered the Thai spring rolls, fried shrimps rolled in popiah and also chicken pieces wrapped in leaves (sorry I can't recall the exact names of the dishes and in what leaves the chicken pieces were wrapped in). One thing for sure, I cannot forget how delicious the starters were! And each of these delicious starter (except for the wrapped chicken) was served with pickled cucumber and salad that made the food tasted even better!

I ordered fried tom yam mee. My colleagues ordered fried rice with shrimp, tomyam meehoon, beef noodle soup and white rice with beef paprik. I wish I had taken pictures of all the dishes we ordered. I tasted each and every dishes and boy! they made my taste bud fell in love. The tomyam was superb! And instead of tiny chunks of ingredients, you would find generous amount of beef, chicken and shrimp in your tomyam soup.

Even my fried tomyam mee tasted wonderful! The dish may look like your typical mee goreng but the taste is definitely not typical. I could taste the tomyam in the fried mee but not so much, with shrimps and slices of squid and chicken for me to devour. On top of that, the serving was quite generous and I finished my meal with a full tummy and a satisfied heart.

We didn't try any of the desserts though. But from the pictures in the menu, everything looks delicious. I wish I had room in my stomach to try their sticky rice with mango. Well, there's always another time. After all, Ooh Cha is only a walking distance away!

All this while, I thought Flying Chillies served the best tom yam cuisine in KL. Ooh Cha has changed my mind and I'll definitely go there again. Plus, the price at Ooh Cha is reasonable.

For all Thai cuisine lovers out there, you guys should try this place!

Ms DM's Music Box presents UTADA

I bought Utada latest English album last weekend. Yeah yeah I know the album came up last year but I had the knack to buy it only last week. I don't know why. Probably because the price was cheap (it was on sale for RM29.90) or maybe because I wanted to know what the album sounds like. The only song from that album which I'm familiar with is Baby Come Back To Me because it got decent airtime in our local radio last year.


Utada Hikaru is an American Japanese who has produced many albums in Japan and is known as one of the most popular artiste in that country. Before this, I had known Utada simply as a Japanese artiste until I watched Hana Yori Dongo season 2 last year because the show used Utada's song "Flavor of Life" as its main soundtrack. I was so in love with the song and started to listen to other songs by Utada such as "Simple and Clean", "Sanctuary" (both songs from "Kingdom Hearts" soundtrack), "Addicted to You", "Can You Keep a Secret" (from "Hero" soundtrack), etc. That was also when I started to read more about Utada and found that her first Japanese album "First Love" had sold 10 million copies worldwide and the digital sales of "Flavour of Life" had reached more than 8 million copies the last time I checked.

Unfortunately, Utada is not doing that well with her English albums. Her latest English album, the one I bought is called "This Is the One" which is produced under Island Def Jam label. One of the producers is LA Reid. For those of you young ones out there, Antonio "LA" Reid was "THE" producer during the 1990s and a Grammy Award winning producer/songwriter. He was half of LaFace Records, the other half was Babyface (if you don't know who Babyface is, go shoot yourself!). The LaFace team had produced for artistes such as Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Toni Braxton etc and Reid was the one who brought the then unknown Avril Lavigne to fame.

So, with someone like LA Reid to back her up, I am sure Utada will no longer struggle in the international music scene. I have heard her songs in "This Is the One" and I can assure you that Utada's music is definitely not the typical bubly J-Pop and she has a voice that could melt you. If I am asked to describe Utada's brand of music in one word, I would say "passionate" because that's what I feel everytime I hear her songs. But do not mistake Utada as a ballad singing J-pop star. She has songs that could make you want to move your body with the rythm.

Utada will start her official US Tour this month with a kick off concert in Honolulu, Hawaii this 15th. I hope I could be there!

Anyway, you can go to Utada's official website for more about her and also a sample of her music.

Below is the lyrics of my most favourite song from Utada's "This Is the One" album:-

Apple and Cinnamon - Utada

Tell me what is on your mind
Help me because I'd like to know
What the hell is going on
Never thought I'd sing this song


Lets not get started with
The he said she said
Sometimes it just doesn't go as planned (x2)


Started out so simple and innocent
So simple and innocent (x3)


Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
Like apple and cinnamon (x3)


I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love
And everybody used to be so envious of us


Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
What we had was just to good, good to last


Happiness don't last that long
What we had was beautiful


Lets not get started with
The he said she said
Sometimes it just doesn't go as planned (x2)


Started out so simple and innocent
So simple and innocent (x3)


Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
Like apple and cinnamon (x3)


I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love
And everybody used to be so envious of us


Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
What we had was just to good, good to last


Please don't look at me like that
Please don't look at me, don't look at me like that
You can't look at me like that
Please don't look at me, don't look at me like that


I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love
And everybody used to be so envious of us


Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
What we had was just to good


Started out so simple and innocent
So simple and innocent(x3)


Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
Like apple and cinnamon (x3)


I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love
And everybody used to be so envious of us


Chemistry like apple and cinnamon
What we had was just to good, good to last

The Avatar Imaginarium of Holmes & Watson

So my bestfriend is currently head over heels and drooling over Jake Sully, the main character and hero, of Avatar. I am not worrying (no reason actually!) because that is typical of Jan and I'm sure she'll remove her attention once another obsession comes along. That's my daisy! :)

Anyway, I too am awed by Avatar. The last time I felt that way was when I saw Gandalf mounted Shadowfax and led the horseback soldiers towards the Black Gate. It was super duper awesome! Avatar 3D is just superb! Can't wait for the sequels!

The news from the grapevine is that they have already started casting for the sequel and from what I've read in the internet, the story may go deeper into the planet Pandora. Well, we'll just have to wait and see!

Another awesome movie I watched last month was Sherlock Holmes. Man! Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law are simply delicious as Holmes and Watson. For the first time in my life, I see Holmes as a rugged hunk and not as a gentlemanly sleuth with pipe and deerstalker hat. I am hoping that Guy Ritchie and Warner Bros will make a sequel of this one too. They have to!

But do not bother to watch the Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus. I think I survived the movie until the end just because of Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp and Jude Law. The movie itself is 1 out of 10. Aya fell asleep twice during the movie and the rest of us just couldn't make out the moral of the story. Well... I guess there was no moral to the story.

That's all folks! Until next time!

Monday Ramblings....

Today is Monday and also the first day of work in 2010. I got up quite early and the traffic to the office was not so bad despite the fact that today is also the first day of school. No matter how well Monday started, the blues just hang over me...

I had a full weekend. Friday was gals day out with Jan, Aya and Laila. Saturday was for Avatar 3D with Adik and also wedding gift hunt. Sunday was Hadi's wedding. And my laundry is still piling!

So I was kinda having a heavy heart when I went to work this morning. After a heavy nasi goreng ayam lunch at Raja's, I was so sleepy that my eyes went crisscrossed!

Anyway, there was hardly any drama in the office today. Thank God for that! We had a small birthday party for Sona at around 5.10 p.m.

Owh! I forgot to mention that I'm driving my dad's Persona starting today. My dad is taking my Gen2 for repainting... and of course to banish the love bites all over my Gen2's body. She's such a naughty girl!

I want to write a little bit about my cousin, Hadi, who got married last weekend. Hadi is 4 years younger than me. When we were kids, he and his older sister, Ayu, were very closed with me and my younger sister, Oni. We always spent times together at our grandparents place in Kg Pandan and, later, Puchong, during school holidays. Because he was the only boy in our clique, he always ended up playing the villains in our fantasy games. He was the Jaws or the big crocodile or the sea monster in all our sea voyage adventures. We kinda drifted apart soon after he hit puberty. Well, that was understandable since he's a guy.

Anyway, seeing him with his bride on the pelamin yesterday brought back so much fond memories when we were children. He used to be like a little brother to me. All of a sudden he's all grown up and married!

Well, I guess that's how life is.

Congratulations, Hadi & Elina!

Single Ladies New Year Day Out!

I had a blast with my bestfriends, Jan, Aya and Laila, today. We went to Pavilion and started our day at RedBox, singing to our hearts' contents. We may be going 33 this year but hey, what has age got to do anything with having fun?

Whilst uploading the pictures of our day out into Facebook, I realised that I've been friends with these 3 fine ladies since 1998. Wow! That was 12 years ago and I am very blessed to have them as my friends and supporters for all these years.

I've got to admit that I've met many people and made new friends along the way but these girls have always held the strongest bond of friendship with me. With them, I can be myself. I can share my happiness and sadness, my fear and strength with them. I think, apart from my family, they are the only people who can accept me the way I am. I know I am not perfect and had sometimes erred in my speech or action. But with them, I know there's always a room for forgiveness.

Of course there were times when we had misunderstandings or quarreled, but we never betrayed each other or manipulated one another. We give and take, we share, tak pernah berkira. I think in those times when one of us got angry to the other, we always thought of the good and bad times that we've been through together and decided that this friendship is too precious to be broken by trivial matters.

As we grew older and lead separate lives, we never forget each other. We may have not contacted one another or meet up that often, but deep in my heart I know I can still count on them for that shoulder to cry on or for that piece of advice or simply for a good time.

These are the people that I want to keep by my side forever and I hope they will stay the way they are. And I hope they feel the same way about me coz I want to stay by their side forever. Thanks for this friendship, girls.

Lean On Me [by Bill Withers]
Sometimes in our lives we all have pain

We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow


Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on


Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me


So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on


Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on


Lean on me...

Happy New Year 2010!

2010 is finally here. Happy New Year everyone!

Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past. ~Henry Ward Beecher



Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right. ~ Oprah Winfrey

Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. ~Hal Borland


Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. ~Oscar Wilde


We've had our beginnings on the day we were borne. A New Year is simply a momento that we have survived the year before. ~ Dang Merduwati
 
May all our wishes come true :)

A New Year, A New Beginning

It seems like only yesterday we celebrated the arrival of 1.1.2009. Right now we are saying goodbye to year 2009 and excitingly await year 2010. Another year gone by. I wonder if I have achieved anything or gained something? Hopely, nothing was lost.

To recap, year 2009 has it ups and downs... at least for me. My family has comfortably settled in in our new home sweet home in Seremban, I got a raised and a healthy bonus, my sister got engaged to the love of her life, I made new friends and acquiantances, I survived the hustle and bustle that come with the job and the best of all, I stayed healthy and happy! Year 2009 was definitely a good, if not great, year for me. Bye 2009!

Let see what's in store for me in year 2010:-

[From http://www.horoscopes-love.eu/]
Yearly 2010 Horoscopes: Capricorn (Dec 22- Jan 19)
Capricorn is a zodiacal sign for serious people! It is also the most mature and serious of all the zodiacal signs. Capricorn signifies maturity and experience apart from mental stability and agility. People who are born under this sign are immensely independent, thinking forward, confident, well meaning and disciplined. They are also extremely patient, hard working, intelligent, smart, down to earth, practical and careful. They are also ambitious with a purposeful mind of their own. Single mindedness coupled with a sense of deep purpose make them the most desirable sun sign in the entire zodiacal system. They can excel in any profession they choose, while their hard work brings them wonderful results.


All Capricornia are extremely reliable, trustworthy, demanding, attentive and persuasive. This is the reason why people adore and like them. Capricorn 2010 year horoscope is one that brings these people a sense of deep satisfaction. It provides them relaxation, sense of comfort and encouragement. Most Capricornia will pursue projects left behind during the last year. In the process, they may reach success level of their dreams. The New Year is also a stepping-stone for future success. They will be honest to their duties and goals that eventually take them to the goal post. Most of them will be extremely confident about their abilities to achieve big goals. This is also a year for innumerable surprises!


Capricorn in 2010
Capricorn 2010 Career and Income Horoscope
Capricorn 2010 yearly horoscope is full of career success. However, occasional problems related to office workspace may bother throughput the year. Professional life could be complicated because of workplace jealousy and competition. This is so true during the first four months of the year. Your superiors may not cooperate with you because of many unknown reasons. Business investments may run into trouble while your competitors may start to trouble you with ulterior motives. One word of caution – Never ever lose your patience or get angry, because it may wash all the good work carried out by you in the past. On the other hand, the second half of the year is quite good and satisfactory for all Capricorn people, because things will stabilize by themselves during this time. They will be able to solve most of the problems with their patience and intelligence.
The 2010 Capricorn annual horoscope is highly productive and result oriented for people who run their business ventures. Success after success comes to their doorsteps during the fag end of the year. Medium and long-term goals will come true in this year. Moneywise, they will earn quite a lot of it and later invest in profit making ventures. Cash flow will stabilize, while spending will come down due to fiscal prudence. The last month of the year may pose some problems in some business investments; however, it is possible to solve these problems by working hard to tackle the problem and find a solution for it.


Capricorn 2010 Love, Family and Social life Horoscope
On the family front, people born under this sign may witness minor marital or relationship problems with their spouse or lovers. In some cases, the problem could also be due to money matters. It is possible to solve all these problems by talking over the existing problems. Relationship with children will be wonderful and love will gently flow between all the family members. The later parts of the New Year will be smooth and fluid with no visible problems whatsoever. Social life will be just out of the world as people may mingle with friends and colleagues with a sense of purpose. The 2010-year Capricorn yearly horoscope indicates a blissful family life coupled with complete satisfaction and contentment.


Capricorn 2010 Education and Traveling Horoscope
Students, teachers, academicians, researchers, scholars and professionals will also do extremely well during the New Year. Academic career for students will be smooth with chances of scholarships and overseas travel becoming distinct possibilities. Intelligence and smartness will guide these people towards their goalposts. Academic rewards and successes will come naturally to these people especially in the field of research and development. Overseas travelling is also possible during the fag end of the year.


Capricorn 2010 Health Horoscope
In general, 2010 Capricorn yearly horoscope indicates good health and sound mind throughout the year. The first three quarters of the year are extremely peaceful and healthy, while the last quarter may pose some minor health problems related to chest and stomach. Otherwise, all Capricorn people are extremely careful about their health and well-being.

Sounds good, isn't it? :)
 
Now lets see what the Chinese zodiac says about me in 2010:-
 
[From http://rosamundwo.com/2009/12/17/2010-chinese-horoscope-prediction/]
Dragon



Assertive, energetic and talented are all words to describe the Dragon personality. On the other hand, the Dragon has a tendency to be condescending and tactless without realizing it. They generally enjoy robust health and tend to be very successful in anything they turn their hand to.


Forecast for 2010
Dragons will find the quick pace of 2010 very much to their liking and they will be keen to spread their wings and look for new possibilities and opportunites. As with the other signs in the Chinese Zodiac, the Dragon must make use of all the openings and opportunities that present themselves during this year. Teamwork will feature strongly and the Dragon will progress further and faster in his career if he bears this in mind. The Dragons financial situation will indeed be rosy during 2010 with a possible increase in income as well as a sum of money coming to them during the year. They must be careful to be disciplined about spending and not make too many impulse buys! May to August will be lovely months for socialising with friends and possible romantic encounters. Dragons do need to remember that love needs attention and if it is taken for granted, problems can arise. May, September and November see the most interesting career changes. Dragons need to take time during the year to have a holiday or getaway with loved ones – with such a busy year, they must not neglect those who matter to them the most. Horoscope Colors: Black, Gold

Also sounds good! Hopefully they are true, especially on the money and romance departments ;p

Anyway, many of my friends have started their lists of new year resolutions. As for me, as always, I don't really set any specific resolution for myself. All I want and need is to be the best, to give the best and to get the best out of anything and everything I do. It may sound simple but hell no it's not as easy as it sounds. But I think, if I want to be a better person, I need to set some standard for myself. If I fall below that standard, I know that I am failing and that I need to do something and work hard to buck up.

Life thought me that nothing comes in a silver platter. At the end of the day, you still have to work hard to achieve or get what you want. The best feeling is when after your hard work, you finally get what you want and you know damn well that you deserve it. And then you can proudly and, if anybody ever try to challenge you, arrogantly say that you've earned it. That is what I call an achievement.

So another 12 challenging months for all of us starting tomorrow. I am confident to say that I am up for whatever is in store for year 2010. I am hoping for the same for all of you, friends or foe, who read this note.

Year 2010, bring it on!!

Where Have I Been?

I've just realised that I have never visited my own blog page since February 2006! That was almost 4 years ago! And where the hell have I been?

Actually, I'm still around. I'm still writing and blogging. But I kept updating my Friendster blog instead of this Blogger blog. So, here I am now... on this page after a long absence. Many things had happened to me during my long silence but I'm not going to narrate each and every thing that has occured in my life. But if you are interested, I am still single. Yups.... that's the truth.

Anyway, I am writing today with no particular thing in mind. I've just got back from Maju Junction. I bought a new baju kurung to wear on my cousin's wedding this weekend. I hope I get the colour right because the theme colour for my cousin's wedding is copper. I know he's my cousin and I really respect his choices but, hello! Copper??? I don't know what other people think but to me copper is definitely not the type of colour that could suit every skin tone created by God. In any event, thank God we are allowed to wear any colour as long as it is the same shade, or bak kata Ayu "ala2 senada", as copper.

Back to the new baju kurung, it just shows how last minute I am. Luckily you can get ready made baju kurung almost anywhere now, but the problem with ready made dresses is the fitting. The problem is even more with the traditional costumes like baju kurung, kebaya, etc. Sometimes I got the right fit but the sleeves were too long, or sometimes the dress was my size but the chest area was somehow not fitting, or the skirt was too long. Many times I have to go to the tailor and paid a few extra RM for the alterations. But today at Maju Junction, luck was on my side. I managed to get a very nice baju kurung with lace patches and beads and the dress fits me very nicely. End of my headache of last minute baju kurung hunt!

Tomorrow after work I will join my colleagues for karaoke. We've planned this event as a farewell party for one of the staff who is leaving Echelon. And this afternoon, in a one line email, he told me that's he is not going to attend his own farewell party tomorrow. I told him that I don't know why we even bother to organise this for him. I thought I was the only one in the office who noticed that he has become such a sore loser since he tendered his resignation almost a month ago. The others noticed that as well. Oh well! It's his loss if he doesn't want to join. I thought we should create some sweet memories before he leave the company so that he will leave in good terms. Unfortunately, it appears that he doesn't think that way. In any event, the party will definitely go on. Heck no I'm not gonna cancel the karaoke room reservation!

That's all for tonite. I'll write again soon.

Valentine Sucks!!!

So, how's you Valentine's Day going?
Mine sucks big time!!! My bf is MIA... Not a single word from him since last week.
I don't know... I can no longer pretend that this relationship is going anywhere at all... My situation right now is exactly like when I had no boyfriend.
Let's find a song that suits this situation...

It Must Have Been Love

Words&Music by Per Gessle
Published by Jimmy Fun Music

Lay a whisper on my pillow,
leave the winter on the ground.
I wake up lonely,
there's air of silence in the bedroom and all around.

Touch me now,I close my eyes and dream away.

It must have been love but it's over now.
It must have been good but I lost it somehow.
It must have been love but it's over now.
From the moment we touched 'til the time had run out.

Make-believing we're together,
that I'm sheltered by your heart.
But in and outside I've turned to water
like a teardrop in your palm.

And it's a hard winter's day, I dream away.

It must have been love
but it's over now,
it was all that I wanted,
now I'm living without.
It must have been love
but it's over now,
it's where the water flows,
it's where the wind blows.

NEW LIFE... Refreshing?

Today is my third in the new company. This morning I went to RHB Bank KL
main branch at Jalan Tun Razak to open a new saving account. The company
will deposit my salary directly to my RHB account.

Anyways, I'm here to tell you about my new job. Well... since the files are
still with my old company and the new company has yet to obtain the approval
from the Central Bank, we cannot start operation. In other words, I'm dead
bored over here! Argghhh!!!

Luckily I have internet access over here so I can check my blog site and
friendster page regularly. I have new office email now but the sad thing is
that they put it as dang@jltasia..... Sounds like a bummer to me... I would
rather they put my full name for my email address. But anyways, this is a
temporary email only. When the new company is finally set up, the IT
department will create a new email for me, bearing the new company's name.

So... what's the new office like? Not bad, I tell you. The people are
friendly... but at the moment there's a distance between me and the rest of
the Malay executives. Probably because they are at the other side of the
office and not in the same department as myself. Besides, most of them are
either married or over 30s, which are quite out of my league... eheheheh!
But I know they are nice people...

I'm lucky because my new colleagues are also very friendly. Like Shyam, Guna
and Ratna, I have known them already since when I was with Crawford. And the
new gal (not a young gal mind u...), Chelvi, is also very nice and
friendly... I feel comfortable working with her...

So, I hope everything would be great for me here. Can wait to start all the
actions!

Birthday Story

My birthday was on Jan, 19th. How many people you know who was born on the 19th day of the month?

That morning I woke up feeling alright... I got birthday wishes from my mum and Oni, but no birthday present though. Then at the office, I got a special birthday message from Jan, my bestfriend. Really sweet! I loved it so much!

During lunch hour, my boyfriend called and sang me the Happy Birthday Song. Really sweet but I'm a bit disappointed because he didn't say "I love you". I didn't say anything about it, though...

Weeks gone by, but until now I haven't properly celebrated my birthday with anyone. I have asked my boyfriend about it but he was too busy. He is still too busy.

Bukan nak mengungkit tapi setiap kali birthday dia, I would make it a point to go out with him to celebrate his birthday walaupun terlambat beberapa hari. So far, I have never failed to buy him his birthday presents. Tapi dia tak pernah belikan I birthday gifts. Last year was the worst... he forgot my birthday, tak ucap langsung happy birthday (walaupun I dah cakap kat dia) and langsung takde birthday gift.

Entah la... I tak tau what to say or what to think anymore. Dah setahun we haven't gone out for a proper date... I mean cuma jumpa 3,4 kali after work aje. Itu pun untuk 2,3 jam aje. Bila weekend, he is always not around. Bila I call, selalu tak angkat... Msg pun jarang nak reply... Kadang-kadang dia biarkan I terkontang-kanting sampai seminggu lebih without any contacts.

Kadang-kadang I terfikir kalau-kalau dia cuma main-mainkan I aje. I mean, he once told me that he could get a sexy model looking girlfriend... One of his ex-gf is a model... So, who am I to compete with these girls? I know I'm not good looking... and my brain is definitely not sexy to him because he never take what I say or think seriously... When I told him I got offered a new job without even looking for it, he only commented on the high salary I would be getting... No "congratulations" or "good job, baby!". I sent him the first draft of a few chapters of my new novel I am currently working on for his comments but until today, not a word from him. He never remembers about my doctor appointments. Kita pernah tengok movie sama-sama cuma sekali aje! Dulu dia kata nak bawa I pergi tengok plays or theatre, but so far he only managed to turn down all my requests to watch musicals/plays.

Masa mengurat I dulu, he wrote me poems and sent me song lyrics, tapi now dah tak ada langsung. Dulu-dulu he would chat with me everyday via sms tapi sekarang dah tak ada. Dulu-dulu he would sent me a kiss before he went to sleep, now dah tak ada.

I tak mintak dia belikan I hadiah mahal-mahal atau bawa I pergi makan ke restoran mewah atau tanggung I belanja shopping. I cuma nak dia jujur dan ikhlas... maksud I, kalau dia betul-betul sayang I then prove it... Sekarang macam mana I nak percaya yang dia memang betul-betul jujur dan ikhlas sayang I kalau dia tak bercakap dengan I, tak spend time dengan I, tak share things dengan I... Dulu dia pernah tuduh I berkelakuan macam orang yang tak pernah ada relationship... Dia bagitau kawan I yang I ni "clingy" (whatever that means... how can i be clingy if he is always not around?)... Tapi bagi I, apa yang I rasa sekarang ialah I cuma ada boyfriend aje tapi takde relationship...

I teringin nak kongsi dengan dia impian I and cita-cita I... and I nak dengar apa impian dia and cita-cita dia... I banyak cerita kat dia pasal family and kawan-kawan I... even about my cat! Tapi dia tak pernah nak cerita pasal family dia, kawan-kawan dia or kucing-kucing dia... Tiap-tiap kali jumpa doktor, I teringin nak cerita dekat dia pasal apa yg terjadi kat hospital... I cuma dapat cerita kat dia through email... and dia tak pernah balas... Tiap-tiap hari I cuba call dia sebab nak tanya khabar dia, because he is my boyfriend and I love him... tapi dia jarang nak angkat telephone... kadang-kadang sampai seminggu I try call dia tapi dia tak angkat. Alamat rumah dia pun I tak tau sebab kadang-kadang I teringin nak send kat dia cards yang cute2 tu...

Entah la... I feel left out. This is not the kind of relationship I imagine I would have. Dulu masa mula-mula kenal dia, I thought he's very sweet and caring. Now I don't know him anymore.

I cuba bersabar sekarang. Tapi sampai bila... and I pun tak tau I bersabar ni untuk apa sbb apa yang I nampak and rasa sekarang ialah, we are beginning to fall apart. Apa yg buat I sangat2 kecewa ialah I tak tau nak buat apa untuk selamatkam keadaan.

To tell you the truth, ada timenya yang bila dia sudi nak jawab masa I call, I rasa nak menangis bila dengar suara dia, sebab I miss him so much and I really wish with all my heart that he is feeling the same way too. I teringin nak bercakap dengan dia lama-lama, cerita kat dia apa yang terjadi kat I that day and pastu dengar dia pulak cerita apa yang jadi kat dia that day... Tapi tak dapat... Kalau malam, dia akan suruh I pergi tidur... kalau siang dia akan kata dia busy...

I terdengar hari tu satu talkshow dalam radio... topiknya ialah macam mana kita nak kesan sama ada pasangan kita tu curang atau tak... One of the tips given ialah bila pasangan kita tu malas nak jawab phone calls kita... Berderau darah I masa tu...

Entahlah... Tak adil kalau I tiba-tiba nak tuduh dia ada perempuan lain. Tapi at the same time, I tak dapat nak halang rasa ragu-ragu ni sebab kalau nak diikutkan, I bukannya kenal dia sangat... I tau dulu dia pernah nak mengurat kawan I sebab kawan I tu pernah cerita kat Jan and Jan cerita kat I balik. Tapi sekarang kawan I tu pun dah kawin. Dalam friendster dia pun lebih ramai perempuan, lelaki cuma 2,3 orang... Bila baca testimonial Jannah tu, lain macam aje bunyinya...

Kalau fikir banyak-banyak pasal ni, memang sedih... actually, almost every night menangis fikirkan pasal dia... most of the time menangis sebab rindukan dia. Kadang-kadang menangis sebab risaukan dia bila dia berhari-hari tak ada khabar berita.

I'm pathetic, am I?....

All Alone In Love

Have you guys ever been in a relationship and one day you woke feeling lonely like hell? Have you ever feel that you have someone but that someone is beyond you reach. Have you ever wish that you could turn back the timeand change the course of event so that you can prevent all the pain your are feeling at this moment.

This song from Mariah Carey describes what I am feeling now...

ALL ALONE IN LOVE

Swept me away
But now i'm lost in the dark
Set me on fire
But now i'm left with a spark
Alone, you got beyond the haze and
I'm lost inside the maze
I guess i'm all alone in love

I look into your eyes
You turn the other way
And now i realize
It's all a game you play
I hold you in the night
And wake to find you gone
You're running out of sight
It's so hard holding on
All alone in love

Swept me away
But now i'm lost in the dark
Set me on fire
But now i'm left with a spark
Alone, you got beyond the haze and
I'm lost inside the maze
I guess i'm all alone in love

You haunt me in your dreams
I'm calling out your name
I watch you fade away
Your love is not the same
I've figured out your style
To quickly drift apart
You held me for a while
Planned it from the start
All alone in love

Sitting in the dark without you
How am i supposed to make it
Through the night
Slowly fall apart without you
Cry away the hours
Till the morning light

MY LAST DAY WITH THE SUPERMODEL

Today is my last day with Crawford... not the supermodel (i'm sorry! The
title is obviously misleading!). And this last week is surely chaotic for
me! Makes me want to cry just to think about it...

As at this moment, I don't feel sad for leaving Crawford... but I am
feeling sad for leaving my kind and helpful colleagues behind... especially
the ones who are in my department... my manager, our secretary... they have
been very kind towards me...

They gave me a wonderful farewell lunch on Wednesday at Kenny Rogers,
Kotaraya.... yummy! My favourite American style dishes.

Even though I am the one who is leaving, I also want to wish them all the best
for their future...

Thanks Rani, Pat, John and En. Manaf. Also thanks to Lyana for making my
last days in Crawford a bit more easier...

On Cloud 9

I went to the pantry just now, to make some coffee. It was 5 pm... my
coffee break time.

When I was stirring my coffee, the unit head of the CMS department passed
by. She stopped the moment she saw me and she smiled at me. Well, actually
during my tenure in this company, I only talk to this unit head maybe less
than 10 times. Most of the time, we just smiled at each other.

But today she stopped and talked to me... actually congratulated me. At
first, I was confused... I mean why would she congrulating me when I am
about to leave the company in a couple of weeks time? Then she said, she is
not congratulating me because I am leaving, but because she has heard about
me getting a good job offer from one of the best companies in the insurance
industry. She told me that this means my good works are recognised by the
people and if I work harder, I can go much further.

I thanked her for her good words.

And yesterday, our new GM also had a chat with me. Actually he was trying
to get me to reconsider my decision of leaving the company. Well, I told
him that the offer I get from the new company is very generous... besides I
get to do works I am doing at the moment which I love so much. I also told
him that at this stage, it would be unfair for the new company if I tell
them now that I wanted to back off because they have already made
arrangements for me to come to work with them next month. So, in the end,
the GM told me that if I have made my decision, then he cannot do anything.
But he impressed upon me that I would always welcome to join the company
again.

It is such a great feeling when people appreciate your good works and
recognise your talent. I feel so proud of myself and I hope my family and
friends are proud of me too! I worked hard to obtained my degree and I
passed as 2nd class upper, which is a great achievement because only 10
classmates (including myself) got that far and nobody got 1st class. Then,
when I was doing my chambering, I was diagnosed with Hepatitis B and
Nephrotic Syndrome. It was hard enough for me mentally and emotionally... I
was in and out of hospital for so many times, but yet, I still managed to
complete chambering.

I started my career as a practicing lawyer in my hometown, Melaka. I was
paid only RM1,500.00 per month on my first year on the job... it was
horrible! Imagine, my friends who work in KL were getting at least
RM2,000.00 per month and I was one of the 10 people with 2nd class upper.
On my second year, I got an increased of only RM200.00, which was much too
low than the amount of works I was handling. But all the while I was told
by my boss that I was doing a great job and she is very lucky to have me.

I told my mum that if this is what I am getting after working so hard at
the university to get a degree, then I don't want to do it anymore. After that, I started looking for new jobs via the Internet. After a week looking, I got a phone call for an interview in
Kuala Lumpur. The rest is what they say... history...

I have met a lot of people during the course of my work... either as a
lawyer or as a claims administrator. Some of these people (who work with me
as my colleagues), some of them I just cannot understand. They constantly
whining about how low they are paid, how so many works they have to handle,
how their bosses always scolded them... but none of them give any ideas of
how to improve their job performance, how to reduce/avoid/rectify
mistakes... and their attitudes towards work make their bosses get more
angry towards them by the day... some even think that they are smarter than
the bosses! But still they don't realize that they are actually their own
problems... all they can see is that either they are not paid enough or too
much work are handed to them... nobody actually paid any attention to the
quality of works they delivered...

What I mean is that you cannot get anywhere if you don't have a positive
attitude towards your job. To me, job satisfaction is not only to get the
work done, but also to get a positive recognition of the work that you have
done. Only by this recognition then you can get all the good things on your
way. But you must always keep in mind that patience and hard work are the
keys to success. Some people may have to work for only a year or two before
they are recognised, and some people may take more than that before other
people see their values. But still, everything involves hard work and
determination. If you want to get there, you will get there... or shall I
say, no pain no gain!

I am very excited to start my new job next month. I can feel that new
challenges are waiting for me but I also feel that I am ready for it. I
wish I can share this excitement with someone but so far, nobody seems to
care... Never mind... At least I know that things are going positively for
me. I am wishing me the best!

Getting Old or Getting Odd?

I am having a headache at the moment. I think it's due to excessive
workload and pressure, and my foul mood because today is Monday. Arghhhh! I
hate Mondays!!!

I don't know how long I can deal with this. I have never had this kind of
headache in my entire life. Does this mean I'm getting old? I remember last
week I met my boyfriend at Berjaya Times Square. I wanted to give him the
chocolates and other souvenirs I bought for him in Langkawi. We spent about
two hours together because he has to rush off to a dinner party.

Anyways, whilst browsing some books at Borders (Yup! The most romantic
place to have a date...), he asked me to look at his moustache and pointed
at the single white hair among the black ones. Then he told me that he has
some more at the sides of his head. Yikes! He is getting older! What would
he be this year? 31? 32? Oh yeah..... 31... early 30s... no sweat... For
men, life begins at 40... For women, life begins at puberty.... eheheheheh!

By the way, I have just realized that I am developing this weird habit
since I knew my boyfriend. You see, we are of the same height... sort of...
and as you can see from his picture below, he has the moustache...
sometimes he wears a goatee... Do you know whom he reminds me of the first
time I met him? Not Humpty Dumpty ok... (Sorry, abang! ;p)

Anyone of you ever read Agatha Christie's detective novels? Who is one of
the most famous fiction detectives in the world? Hercule Poirot... Yup, the
first thing that popped into my mind the first time I met my boyfriend was
Hercule Poirot. Except that my boyfriend is not what you call a dandy, and
his head is the normal round shape... not egg-shaped...

And until today, everytime I miss him, I would grabbed an Hercule Poirot
mystery novel and read it. Don't you find that odd? And everytime a short
bespactacled man passes me, I would either smile widely or start giggling..
because they remind me of him and the memories of him lightens my heart...
What else reminds me of him?... Grey Kelisa... nasi ayam... KLCC...
Kinokuniya... hotdogs... I-pod... and wardrobes....

The other day he complained that I would put on a sour face everytime I saw
him. Actually, I wanted to explain to him that I put on the sour face
because I want to surpress my laughter... I have this urge to laugh or
giggle everytime I saw him. Odd, isn't it? Not because he's a clown or
anything... Nor was he doing anything funny... I don't even know how to
explain it to myself, so how can I explain it to him without getting his
tender heart hurt? So, my solution is to put on a sour face until the urge
to laugh has subsided. That's why I dedicated the song "My Funny Valentine"
to him...

Ok... enough about my boyfriend!

I tendered my resignation last Friday. My boss was a bit upset because I'm
jumping over to the enemies side, so to speak. But she handled it
perfectly, I think due to my frankness and honesty in this matter. I mean,
I was not trying to hide from her where I'm going. Ok... Ok... The truth
is... I was not trying to be honest to her ;p... I wanted to tell her that
I am going to this company which has extended a generous offer to me and
that's it... But, the moment I saw her face, suddenly I was incapable of
lying.. It's not that I never lied in my entire life... Of course I have...
white lies mostly... The thing is, I was caught in a situation where I
cannot lie... You get what I mean? So I ended up telling my boss that I got
an irresistable offer from the enemy and after due consideration, decided
to accept it. So, I've said it... there's no time to regret it...

Do I feel relieved after tendering my resignation? Not really... I would
definitely feel relieved after I am settled at the new office. I'm sure the
environment would be different and the workloads would be crazier! But at
least I'll be doing something I like...

So, today, I am really not in the mood on getting any jobs done... Not
because I know I am leaving this place... It's because since early last
month, I have to take over the files from my colleague who has been demoted
to a different department. My bosses don't like him because he's slow, does
not follow instructions and always in the defensive mode. When I took over
his files, I suddenly understand why they hate him... That explains the
headache I am having right now. I wish I could just throw his files into
the fire or something!

Somebody saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Welcome, 2006!!

The year 2006 has arrived! Bye bye, 2005!!

Well, what more can I say? Another year has gone by and 19 days from today, I'll be 29! Yikes! Is it true that number means nothing as long as you are happy and you know where you are going? Do you remember the lyrics to the Happy Birthday song by New Kids On The Block? "Age is just a number... don't you stop having fun..." Bah! Age is definitely NOT just a number especially when you are 29 and unmarried!!

I'd rather not explore on that subject or else, I'll end up feeling depressed and insecure...

Let's just talk about the good things.

The good thing is that I have just confirmed with this company that I am accepting their job offer and if things run as planned, I'll be joining this company by February 2006. They have offered me a very generous offer (I'll get a raise and a few allowances which I don't get from my current employer) and I am also hoping that this is going to be my stepping stone to jump up to another level. Yeay!!! So, let's just hope that everything will materialised and runs well.

I also hope that this year will be the beginning of other good things to happen/come to me. One of my wishes is that my boyfriend will spend more time with me and that our relationship will get stronger and deeper. I also hope he will make some effort to get to know me better (he never asked me what my favourite colour is, or my favourite food, movies, books and so on...). It's great to have a boyfriend but at the moment, I am not sure whether he is serious about me. Most of his actions seems to indicate otherwise. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't like to be with me or around me... that's why he doesn't spend much time with me or even have a date with me. We don't even talk as much as a real couple supposed to do. If we are not in love with each other, I don't even think we can pass as friends... more like acquaintences... There are so many things missing in our relationship... he doesn't want to share things with me... or even to trust me... He never told me about his friends or his job... He told me a little bit about his family but not enough to really know them... I would be very honoured and would have so much pleasure to hear him tell me and share with me about his dreams, his anxiety, his hopes... or even his problems at work, or problems with his friends and family... or just an everyday story of what he has been doing that day, who he met, or whether his meeting with a client succeeded... Sadly, I don't even know what are his resolutions for this year. And, as expected, he doesn't ask what mine are. That's why this is at the top of my wish list... To have a REAL relationship.

Langkawi, The Island Of Dreams

Hi! How is everybody? I bet everyone is counting down for the new year at this moment.

But, before we go on about the coming 2006 (any minutes now), here are some pictures taken during my trip to Langkawi Island. My family and I had the most wonderful and fun time in Langkawi.

After seeing and experiencing the island, I am now proud to say that Langkawi is indeed one of the most beautiful islands in the world! The people are warm and friendly, the food are delicious, and the scenery are simply gorgeous! I would definitely go and visit Langkawi again.

We stayed at the Langkasuka Resort, only five minutes away from the Langkawi Airport. Quite a nice resort with it's own private beach.

On our first day, after checking in at the hotel, we when out for a quick tour at Pekan Kuah, the main town of Langkawi. We cruised around the duty free shops and had a quick look around the gift and souvenirs shops there. In the afternoon, we went back to the hotel and swam at the private beach.

On the next day, we went to Langkawi Oriental Park. They have a rabbit farm, a deer farm, a few sourvenir shops and restaurants. The main attraction is the cable car, which is the longest one in the world. The cable car will take you up to the highest hill in Langkawi. The view from up there was spectacular! Took my breath away! The most beautiful combination of the colours blue, white and green... in all shades!

The night scenery in Langkawi is also very beautiful. I have never seen so many stars in my life!

On our second day, we went island hopping by a rented boat. First, we went to Pulau Dayang Bunting (the Virgin Maiden Island). There are lots of monkeys there, so we have to be careful with our plastic bags or they will snatch it from us as they have associated the plastic bags with food. At the heart of the Virgin Maiden Island is a beautiful lake surrounded by hills and trees. The water is so cool and perfect for swimming. You can also hitch a ride on the paddle boat around the lake.

Our second island is Pulau Singa Besar (the Big Lion Island). It is the natural habitat for the Langkawi eagles. It was my first encounter with wild eagles and it was thrilling! Such magnificent birds! Our boatman threw some chicken skins into the water and the eagles flew around above us and one by one they flew down and snatched the chicken skins from the water.

Our last island is Pulau Beras Basah (the Wet Rice Island). We spent almost 3 hours here swimming. The water was so clear and blue and the sand was the whitest I have ever seen. I had so much fun swimming and collecting seashells there.

We went back to the hotel at around 4pm. We were dead tired but also so happy. Around 6 pm, we went to Pekan Kuah and did some shopping. We flew back to Kuala Lumpur on the next day.

Oh, forgot to tell you that it was also my first experience on an airplane. On our flight to Langkawi, I experienced the worst case of air pressure. I felt like my head was going to explode! Thank God, the flight back to KL was okay.

So, that's my story of my trip to Langkawi. I hope one of these days I can go back there and experience the same fun I had.